How Andrew Actually Won Gyps' Heart: The Fall of Savage.
andrewryan69
Published
09/12/2011
*TELEPHONE RING WITH CALLER ID DISPLAYING "COMMISSIONER"*
Andrew: Commissioner, what is it? I'm in the middle of playing a game of Parcheesi with a bunch of blind children. Can't you see that I'm busy?
Commissioner: Andrew, the mayor's daughter, Gyps, and Neko's iPhone have been kidnapped by that nefarious son of a bitch Fred Savage. Use your superior physique and intelligence to purge him and his cohorts.
Andrew: That damn Fred Savage - I thought we had him locked up for good after that incident in '99 ... the one where he snipped the bras off the mannequins in Victoria Secret. Wait - cohorts? Who else is working with him?
Commissioner: He has his whole gang of cronies - Letmedangle, rednote, Tyaeda, and GI Joe. Their mission is to rape Gyps, break Neko's iPhone, and then rape Gyps again.
Andrew: Son of a bitch ... not Neko's iPhone. I'm on it, chief.
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*MEANWHILE IN FRED SAVAGE'S BASEMENT*
Fred Savage: All according to plan - pretty soon, Gyps will feel the power of five penises (two strap-ons and three ACTUAL penises) in her vagina and then Neko will be without an iPhone! HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
*ANDREW RYAN ENTERS THE BASEMENT THROUGH THE BASEMENT DOOR AFTER FRED SAVAGE'S MOTHER LETS HIM IN*
Fred Savage: ANDREW! How did you find us?
Andrew Ryan: All too easy, Mr. Savage. I was able to track your daily shipment of "Saved by the Bell" DVD collection sets through Amazon. I'm here to save Gyps ... but more importantly, prevent you goons from destroying Neko's precious iPhone.
Tyaeda: Too late, Andrew, you worthless piece of shit. With the power of my Walmart Super Savings card and the fact that I have ten packs of cigarettes in my back pocket, Neko's iPhone will no longer have service thus preventing her from making calls. Suck on my PUSSY, Andrew.
Letmedangle: That's right, Andrew. Here's a riddle for you: what's triangular and can be eaten? Pizza ... as in pizza will be rammed down your throat as you watch Neko's iPhone get destroyed ... and we'll rape the shit out of Gyps.
Rednote: Blah blah blah blah blah! BLAH!!!! BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY? BLAH BLAH! BLAH!!!!
Andrew Ryan: So be it - I didn't bother to even include GI Joe in this so deal with it. Anyways, let us commence battle on my yacht while my clone, Andrew Ryan II, will aid me in battling you fools.
*ANDREW RYAN DEFEATS THE GOONS AND FRED SAVAGE DIES OF BEING LOLPWNT TO THE MAX*
Gyps: Thank you, Andrew. You have saved me from being raped and I will marry you. We will have three children ... but first, take me to IHOP so we can feast on those free chocolate chip pancakes, oy.
Neko's iPhone: Thank you Andrew for saving me because without me, Neko wouldn't be able to post her exemplary blogs that have ultimately enlightened the masses. nyan nyan nyan.
Andrew Ryan: What can I say? I'm just amazing.
Our tale ends with Andrew Ryan lolpwnting Fred Savage and his gang of cronies back to their prison cells. Fred Savage has moved onto better things, such as watching reruns of "Full House" and being on VH1's "Celebrity Rehab." Rednote is still irrelevant as he still tries to capture Neko's attention while GI Joe and Tyaeda both married and had fifteen children. The fifteen children, however, couldn't all fit in Tyaeda's trailer so the trailer exploded and both GI Joe and Tyaeda died of being rednecks.
THE END.
Andrew: Commissioner, what is it? I'm in the middle of playing a game of Parcheesi with a bunch of blind children. Can't you see that I'm busy?
Commissioner: Andrew, the mayor's daughter, Gyps, and Neko's iPhone have been kidnapped by that nefarious son of a bitch Fred Savage. Use your superior physique and intelligence to purge him and his cohorts.
Andrew: That damn Fred Savage - I thought we had him locked up for good after that incident in '99 ... the one where he snipped the bras off the mannequins in Victoria Secret. Wait - cohorts? Who else is working with him?
Commissioner: He has his whole gang of cronies - Letmedangle, rednote, Tyaeda, and GI Joe. Their mission is to rape Gyps, break Neko's iPhone, and then rape Gyps again.
Andrew: Son of a bitch ... not Neko's iPhone. I'm on it, chief.
-----------
*MEANWHILE IN FRED SAVAGE'S BASEMENT*
Fred Savage: All according to plan - pretty soon, Gyps will feel the power of five penises (two strap-ons and three ACTUAL penises) in her vagina and then Neko will be without an iPhone! HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
*ANDREW RYAN ENTERS THE BASEMENT THROUGH THE BASEMENT DOOR AFTER FRED SAVAGE'S MOTHER LETS HIM IN*
Fred Savage: ANDREW! How did you find us?
Andrew Ryan: All too easy, Mr. Savage. I was able to track your daily shipment of "Saved by the Bell" DVD collection sets through Amazon. I'm here to save Gyps ... but more importantly, prevent you goons from destroying Neko's precious iPhone.
Tyaeda: Too late, Andrew, you worthless piece of shit. With the power of my Walmart Super Savings card and the fact that I have ten packs of cigarettes in my back pocket, Neko's iPhone will no longer have service thus preventing her from making calls. Suck on my PUSSY, Andrew.
Letmedangle: That's right, Andrew. Here's a riddle for you: what's triangular and can be eaten? Pizza ... as in pizza will be rammed down your throat as you watch Neko's iPhone get destroyed ... and we'll rape the shit out of Gyps.
Rednote: Blah blah blah blah blah! BLAH!!!! BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY? BLAH BLAH! BLAH!!!!
Andrew Ryan: So be it - I didn't bother to even include GI Joe in this so deal with it. Anyways, let us commence battle on my yacht while my clone, Andrew Ryan II, will aid me in battling you fools.
*ANDREW RYAN DEFEATS THE GOONS AND FRED SAVAGE DIES OF BEING LOLPWNT TO THE MAX*
Gyps: Thank you, Andrew. You have saved me from being raped and I will marry you. We will have three children ... but first, take me to IHOP so we can feast on those free chocolate chip pancakes, oy.
Neko's iPhone: Thank you Andrew for saving me because without me, Neko wouldn't be able to post her exemplary blogs that have ultimately enlightened the masses. nyan nyan nyan.
Andrew Ryan: What can I say? I'm just amazing.
Our tale ends with Andrew Ryan lolpwnting Fred Savage and his gang of cronies back to their prison cells. Fred Savage has moved onto better things, such as watching reruns of "Full House" and being on VH1's "Celebrity Rehab." Rednote is still irrelevant as he still tries to capture Neko's attention while GI Joe and Tyaeda both married and had fifteen children. The fifteen children, however, couldn't all fit in Tyaeda's trailer so the trailer exploded and both GI Joe and Tyaeda died of being rednecks.
THE END.
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