I got this in my email today
From: Dr. Valentius Poljziack
Vice-Minister of International Holdings
Eastern Europe Bank and Uranium Manufacturing
1 Centre D'Proletariat
City of Minsk, Democrat Socialist Republic Belarus
Dear Most-Honored Friends,
It is agreeable that you may lack understanding of myself and reputation. Be assured, I am writing in the most complete steadfast and truthful way. Please forgive this unexpected and unusual manner of contacting you, but this particular letter/email is of exceptional and a very private nature, by way of my vantage position in Eastern Europe Bank and Uranium Manufacturing. Some years ago, when the Accursed Soviet Commissars still had their Iron Gloves on my country's throat, I labored as a political dissident at a camp in the Siberian Vast Wilderness. While there, I witnessed the hording of an uncountable amount of gold and precious gems, for the personal treasure of the Central Party Commissioner. For reasons I understand you may guess at, this treasure remained in Siberia to the conclusion of the Glorious People's Uprisings. Now, through untold peril and personal fortune, I am in a position to remove the valuable gold and other valuable objects. However, I am unable to do the solely alone. And because of current economic hardships of my nation, I do not rely enough on my fellow Belorussians for assistance. Thus I turn to the devoted Rust & Lumber that I heard so much rumored about from the time of the Leaden Curtain. Truly you must have the resources and discretion to assist in this worthy project, which will do much to aid my nation and the people of the world.
Please contact me if you are able to do so, let me know how you can work and I will continue to give instructions for the noble undertaking. My hope depends on You, that Rust & Lumber continues their reputation of Helpfulness and Profit-Making Excellence.