How to Strike it Rich on eBaums

How to become an ebaums celebrity and be rolling in the ebones.

I see so many people trying so hard to make it on ebaums. Either trying to become famous or get rich on ebones.

It's a tough business here, and you've got a lot of competition. It's not for the weak. Some people have been uploading every single day for years, and haven't gotten a god damn feature. Others have been commenting on every feature for years, and still haven't been able to come up with anything funny.

I started on ebaums ages ago. I was just making witty comments on the features. Soon I got the attention of all the big wigs in the comment section. They thought my stuff was pure gold and genius. People were luling so hard, I became one of the big feature trolls.

I soon noticed a problem on the features. The problem was that the features didn't really speak to the people of ebaums. There was nothing for them to relate to. So I started making galleries with me in it, and put some of the familiar trolls' faces in it too. This was an instant mega hit. Millions of people from around the world started getting hooked on my galleries. It got so popular, the site's traffic exploded instantly. People were flooding my inbox with fan mail. At the same time ebones were flooding into my account. I started making crazy money, like $10 a month. Then even $25 a month!

Everything I uploaded, no matter how crappy, became featured. And I became a famous meme on the internet. Unfortunately it was short lived. After a few month my 15 minutes of fame were over, people moved on to the next big fad, those stupid GIF galleries became popular, and I only made enough ebones every 3 month for a swag pack. Hardly enough to live on.

So to anyone out there trying to make it on ebaums, just believe in yourself and you can achieve your dreams. Remember that just as fast as your dreams come, they will shatter just as quickly and leave you with nothing on the side of a road, and you'll be left with nothing but the tears in your eyes for you to wipe your ass.
Uploaded 02/18/2012
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