TRAGEDY HAS STRUCK EBAUM'S WORLD unbeknownst to the mass public of eBaum's World as the Chinese slave laboring fiends who assume leadership of this rotten slum, PepperPeanut, MacDreidel, UsedCarMan, and Gabbiemexicana, have collaborated to exile Ms. Neko Jones to Internet prison on an isolated island, similar to the fate of Napoleon Bonaparte. 

I can recall the night when Ms. Neko Jones was banned: I was on the verge of completing my Hot Pocket dinner, festooned with various spices and doused in a brown puddle of gravy, when I casually exerted myself onto the eBaum's World blog section and forced myself to regurgitate my food upon the sight of Ms. Neko Jones being banned. 

Andrew, why ... WHY WAS NEKO BANNED? WHY WAS HER PRESENCE REMOVED? It all falls upon the sin of envy - particular individuals, who bared boorish Internet pseudonyms, gradually grew envious over Ms. Neko's presence: her aesthetic beauty, her charming ability to conjure meaningful and inspiring blogs ... oh the list is endless! 

That being said, I am organizing a MARCH from PORTLAND, MAINE to SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA (WHERE THE FIENDS LIE WHO BANNED OUR MAIDEN QUEEN) - and by march, I surely mean PURE WALKING (no mobile transports or anything of that ilk) from Maine to California - nonstop, no rest stops, no NOTHING. PURE WALKING - no sleep, no eating, and definitely no bathroom breaks. JOIN ME, my MINIONS, and let us march in honor of Neko. Hopefully, our efforts will be shown on national television, where Mr. Pepper Peanut will be immediately arrested for his uncalled and inhumane acts of crime. 

JOIN ME, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AND LET US MARCH FOR NEKO! ABOVE IS THE OFFICIAL FLYER FOR THIS EVENT, I SHALL PRINT OUT AT LEAST A THOUSAND OF THESE AND DISPERSE THEM AMONG THE COUNTRY, BE AWARE! ONE STARRING THIS BLOG WILL RSVP YOU FOR THIS EVENT - I SHALL IP TRACE THE ONE STARRERS, BE AWARE.