Proof McDonald's Is Run By Morons

I don't know why I get upset about things like this. For example, every time I drive by my local Taco Bell, I see their Drive-Thru sign lit up. I Drive-Thru and no one is there to take my order.  Suddenly the lights turn off. I pull around and if they are even smart enough to figure out how to unlock the window again, they tell me they just closed.  

Why Do I get mad? I shouldn't eat this trash in the first place. I shouldn't get mad that they won't serve it to me, I should thank them. But still my blood boils...

Taco Bell has been my enemy for a while now, so I about shit my swivel chair when I found out that the McDonald's near me is open 24 hours on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  I've seen Supersize Me, but fuck it.  I work until 9am sometimes, so I need to eat.  I don't usually have time or patience to cook. This was my ticket to effortless obesity.

So it happened that I was working late on a Friday and I decided to check this place out.  It's about 1am and I place my order for a Big Mac meal.  The mongoloid on the other end of the speaker tells me they started serving breakfast.  

Breakfast? Breakfast?!?!?!
Who in the fuck wants to eat breakfast at 1am?  Who in the fuck wants to eat McDonald's breakfast at all?  It tastes like plastic bird shit.  

I tell the guy I have no interest in eating their biological waste, and that I want real food.  Burgers. Fries. Nuggets.
He tells me that since they just changed at 1am that he could cook me a Big Mac.  I was much happier now that I didn't have to go Falling Down on his ass. There's no nuggets, but I'll be fine with just the meal.

So I pull around and the kid at the window now says "We don't have fries, so what do you want to do? Do you want hash browns?"  Fuck this.  

I explained to him how stupid it is, but of course, it isn't his call.  He was being nice and did the right thing.  Still, I told him to cancel it and drove away.

I get back, and I'm still burned up about it.  I went to their website and wrote a complaint about it, saying that I went to Steak n' Shake instead.  I was hoping it would make it to their franchise management and they could move it to 3am or 4am.  You know, the earliest possible time that people would ever want to eat that garbage breakfast they serve.

Well, I guess it did get to them, because I got a written letter reply.  Read for yourself how stupid they are:


Grammatical errors aside, They totally just gave me a backhanded customer service response. I complain about breakfast, so they tell me tough shit and send me a card for a free bagel sandwich? Fuck them.

And additionally, if everyone had a hard on for McMuffins at 1am, then why does no other restaurant serve only breakfast at those hours?  Why isn't Taco Bell changing their menu? Why aren't bars serving steak and eggs every night?  And why is it so hard for them to serve both?  Steak N' Shake does it. Jack in the Box does it.  Sonic does it. etc, etc, etc.

I think the reality is just that breakfast is more profitable for them.  

See, now I've over-thought how I'm going to make myself fatter thanks to them.  Maybe I will have to go Falling Down after all.

Uploaded 06/13/2011
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