Today has been...well dumb. If people have an IQ of under 20...they call me. They must be GROSSLY misinformed to think I have sympathy and/or patients. I have to admit though, today they have all been in rare form...its hard to answer the phone when some of these geniuses hit you just the right way.

here are some examples:

caller: I'd like to talk to mike.
me: would that be mike sr, or mike jr? (apperently this company has 2 mikes)
caller: is sr the older guy?
..........I bet this guy is allowed to drive.

caller:hi may I speak with the owner of the business?
me: sorry sir/madam but everyone is out to lunch at the moment would you ...
caller: is the co owner or manager there??
me: you got me! see, when just said EVERYONE is out...I didn't include the manager or co-owner, but you called me on it! oh man you're good!.
....stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.

caller: you had a message for me buddy?
me:....yessir, the caller was blahblah, the company was balhblah, the trouble was blahblah
caller: why thank you buddy! you have yourself a peach keen fine jim-jam-dandy-day...
me:...I hope you die
caller: ...sorry?
me: thank you sir, you have a great day too!
.......I didn't really say the last part....but oh I wanted too...everyone in this particular compnay that I call is .....too nice. they're always cheerful, always upbeat and always willing to accomidate...it doesn't matter what hour I call them...I know, I've had to call them at 3 am before, and they were still upbeat. I think they're part of a cult. My co-worker lead me to believe that, they're only like that on the phone...as soon as they hang up they kick the shit out of a kitten or set a small puppy on fire.

had to add this one I just got:
me: can I get your number?
caller:...my...phone number?
no sir your lucky number.

today I've been a bit short....a bit tempermental...well at least more so than usual. I haven't had sex in like 2 months or some shit....my dog is looking MIGHTY fine.