What's George Zimmerman at War With Now?

George Zimmerman has recently made headlines for re-tweeting an image of Trayvon Martin’s dead body with the caption “Z-man is a one-man army.” Of course we all remember George Zimmerman for the pre-emptive strike he made against Martin, a Skittle-wielding teen in 2012.

But an unarmed 17-year-old is not the only person George Zimmerman has engaged in warfare with. The Zimmerman has found a way to defy military convention and successfully sustain various, simultaneous wars on multiple fronts. Let’s take a look at other things the “Z-man” is currently at war with:

  • Unarmed teens, see above.
  • The Google-recommended searches related to his name. When I first searched Google and Yahoo for more information on the Z-Man, the top 2 recommended searches to try were “George Zimmerman dead” and “George Zimmerman found dead.”
  • Pretty much anyone he has been in a domestic partnership with. Since 2013 he’s had the Police called on him by estranged wives, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, and everything in between.
  • Opponents of the controversial “Stand Your Ground” Law that gives the legal carrier of a concealed weapon the right to use that weapon against any perceived threat. This law was crucial to Zimmerman’s 2013 trial defense.
  • Supporters of the controversial “Stand Your Ground” Law, like Matthew Apperson who fired at Zimmerman’s car after a road rage incident where he claimed Zimmerman brandished a firearm and made threats at him.
  • Critics of his art, as well as the people who hold copyrights on the stock images he uses to create the aforementioned art. In 2013 Zimmerman announced his presence as an artist by listing one of his paintings on Ebay for over $100,000.00 His art was panned by New York Observer Art critic Andrew Russeth who said, “It looks like someone is doing paint by number.” Stock image website Shutterstock also accused Zimmerman of using their images without permission, which gives him at least as much artistic credibility as the guy who did all those Obey posters.

No one knows for sure what the post-script will be on George Zimmerman and the various wars that he is currently engaged in, but it would seem that there is a cross-section of optimistic Googlers who have a pretty good idea where this is heading.

Uploaded 09/28/2015
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Categories: Wtf Facepalm


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