Ethel was ih her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up a corridor when a door opened and Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up. 'OK' he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge, Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel pulled out a drink coaster and held it up. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'

As Ethel neared the final corridor, crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding his you-know-what in his hand. 'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'not that damn breathalyzer test again!'