Two alkies wanted to drink but between them, they could only scratch together sixty eight cents.
John said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'
He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with a large sausage.
Shamus said: You crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!
John replied: Don't worry, just follow me.
He went into the pub where he ordered two pints of beer and two glasses of Whisky.
Shamus said: Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!
John smirked: Don't worry, I have a plan!
They downed their drinks. John said: OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.
The barman noticed them, went nuts, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting drunker and drunker.
At the 10th pub Shamus said: John I can't do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin me!
John said: How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub.