14 Essential Pieces of Bro Code

Mizuka Published 09/03/2015 in Funny

Procedures and etiquette that every man should know.

1. If bro with truck assists you with moving, you shall reciprocate with a full tank of gas.
2. Player 1 belongs to whoever owns the console.
3. When offered a beer, accept even if it's not "your brand". Your favorite brand of beer is "free". Your second favorite is "cold".
4. Be polite around your bro's lady friend, but when he asks what you think, lay the truth on him like a ten ton slab.
5. When hugging another guy, a minimum of 2 back slaps must be performed.
6. One guy watching porn is cool. Three guys watching porn is cool. Two guys watching porn, not cool.
7. Whoever got laid most recently has to play wingman.
8. You never leave a 'wounded soldier'.
9. Never feel bad about taking the last beer or the last slice of pizza, however, don't take both.
10. Don't f**k another bro's sister without the bros permission.
11. If you need to talk to your boy's girlfriend through text or IM it's like having a chat with a business parter. Short, preferably one-word answers. Careful punctuation. Conversation is strictly business and to the point.
12. When a stripper opens beer with her butt cheeks, don't refuse it saying it's dirty. Other men will lose respect for you.
13. If you and your bro are having a threesome with a girl, you can't look eachother in the eyes.
14. If your boy is crying, you cry with him. Nobody cries alone.

1. If bro with truck assists you with moving, you shall reciprocate with a full tank of gas.
2. Player 1 belongs to whoever owns the console.
3. When offered a beer, accept even if it's not "your brand". Your favorite brand of beer is "free". Your second favorite is "cold".
4. Be polite around your bro's lady friend, but when he asks what you think, lay the truth on him like a ten ton slab.
5. When hugging another guy, a minimum of 2 back slaps must be performed.
6. One guy watching porn is cool. Three guys watching porn is cool. Two guys watching porn, not cool.
7. Whoever got laid most recently has to play wingman.
8. You never leave a 'wounded soldier'.
9. Never feel bad about taking the last beer or the last slice of pizza, however, don't take both.
10. Don't f**k another bro's sister without the bros permission.
11. If you need to talk to your boy's girlfriend through text or IM it's like having a chat with a business parter. Short, preferably one-word answers. Careful punctuation. Conversation is strictly business and to the point.
12. When a stripper opens beer with her butt cheeks, don't refuse it saying it's dirty. Other men will lose respect for you.
13. If you and your bro are having a threesome with a girl, you can't look eachother in the eyes.
14. If your boy is crying, you cry with him. Nobody cries alone.