“I once woke up in a house that was on fire. We were all up until about 4:00 a.m. drinking. The fire started in a wall around 6:00 a.m., so everybody was totally passed out. By the time a random passerby kicked the door in and woke us up, the smoke was so thick I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face.”

“I found a carbon monoxide detector in our garage, brand new, unopened one day. I thought, this isn’t doing us any good here, so I took it to the basement and hooked it up. 2 days later it went off as our furnace got clogged with something and our basement filled up with fumes. We evacuated and the fire department came and blew out the house with some big fans. Then some guy came on an emergency service call and fixed our furnace. My wife, 3 kids, dog, and I may have all died if I hadn’t hooked that thing up.”

“This happened in October. On a Tuesday, I met a guy at a concert who I hit it off with. Wednesday, he asks me to be his girlfriend (despite having met a day earlier and knowing nothing about each other) and I said no. Thursday, I find out he not only has a baby, but he’s married (I’m still in my teens, so I wasn’t expecting this at all). Friday, I find out he met his wife at an amateur porn shoot.”

“Approaching an intersection late at night on my motorcycle. Didn’t see the massive patch of sand that had somehow been spread out across the road. Went to brake, rear wheel locked and I slid into the intersection. Came to a stop in the middle of the first lane. Saw something big and white out of the corner of my vision. Was a truck. Gassed it just a bit to get out of the way, and the bike was clipped a couple inches behind my body, hard enough for the muffler to be pushed up against the chain. Flew completely over two lanes of traffic and landed on my hands and feet in the middle of the intersection with cars travelling in opposite directions on either side of me. Stood up. No sliding, not a scratch on me. Helmet never touched the ground.”

“Used to flirt with this guy at work. He was a single dad, I’m a single mom. My daughter even asked me why I didn’t date him when he was so nice and he seemed like he liked me. He asked me to come hang out with him sometime soon. I didn’t give him a solid yes because I really don’t think dating someone you work with is a good idea, but he was winning me over. A few months after that I go into work and he’s suddenly being escorted from the building by security. Turns out he was rooted out in an FBI sting for soliciting underage girls in chat rooms – he even used his work computer for a lot of his activity”

“After a messy breakup I reconnect with my ex. She tells me how she got pregnant by the guy she cheated with and they broke up because he wanted an abortion. Then she tells me that the last 2 months we dated she stopped taking the pill.”

“4th grade I rode my bike home everyday. This day I decided I was gonna wait outside to ask a girl out. It took 5 min. As I got home I saw 3 dudes hauling ass out my house into a white van. Our house was robbed. Of I had gotten home earlier they may have robbed my house as I was eating my daily bowl of frosted flakes .”

“During college I was completely wasted and ended up leaving a convenience store as 2 guys walked in to rob it.”

“This boy I made out with in high school asked me on a date and I said no. He’s now a convicted sex offender.”

“I was a dumbass. I want to clarify to everyone that I was a dumbass. This moment haunts me at night. I had been up over 24 hours attempting to drive from Kentucky to Florida, in the night, and I kept getting lost making the trip take longer. I was getting impatient and reckless. I started speeding and impatiently passed a truck only to narrowly avoid a head-on collision with another truck.

“”Nice Guy” end of college boyfriend. Ended up being emotionally abusive, tried to restrict me from seeing some of my friends, and when I did finally break up with him, sent a facebook message to my father and I about how much of a whore I was (thankfully I called my mother and she deleted it without reading it).”

“One day in columbus, ohio, i tried to get a pizza at 4:00am, the place was closed, and i walked back to my friends house. Seconds latter there was a shoot-out in front of the pizza place. I guess bullet dodged?”

“Was attempting a PR on bench press without a spot. Lifted the bar and my hand slipped, but I kind of felt it coming so I was able to duck my head away from the bar which would have obliterated my eye. Never again. Always use a spot if you’re doing heavy weights!”