“I’m fat and I’m pregnant and I have no shame.”

“My brother was joking about how he dresses like a 5-year-old. Then he found this.”

“Freshmen year of college, I knocked my tooth out. Made this to warn gentlemen of the potentially misleading nature of the duck face.”

“My blind friend got engaged yesterday....he’s pretty sure.”

“Balding has caused me so much depression. So I went bald.”

“Most long-sleeves are longer than my arms due to a disability, so I wore an appropriate sweater.”

“Our baby announcement photo. My wife looked so thin after delivery that I joked I looked like the one who had just delivered.”

“My friend told me that I look like a popsicle stick.”

“My favorite shirt. Yes, I am single.”

“My friend’s wedding about a month ago had a photo booth. I figured since I am single I should make the best of it.”

“After getting hit by a car this year, I thought this was the only appropriate costume for Halloween!”

“I tried dying my hair. My boyfriend said I reminded him of a certain animal.”

“As a paralyzed man, I feel my Apple watch might be mocking me.”

“Spotted at my local McDonald’s. I feel uhhhh... mocked.”

“Put both on this morning to get wife’s opinion. Forgot to change before I left and was at work all day like this.”