“I like to take videos of my wife, and tell her I’m taking pictures.”

“I’m tired of being the single friend, so I bought these to leave in all my boys’ cars.”

The moment our fears make us stronger and... more useful.

“The kids have been asking, dad is delivering. Christmas is going to be great.”

“Guys, just look at how my friend eats her pizza!”

“All of my coworkers agreed to dress up as Smurfs for Halloween. I’m the only one who went through with it.”

The main thing is to delegate responsibilities in time.

“My mom got mad at her name/picture and told me to change it, so I did.”

“My mom gave my stepdad an (almost) buzzcut and sent me this photo and message saying, ’Don’t tell him about the surprise!’”

“My dad pranked my mom by putting his old ninja turtles all over the house in weird places. Here was one in the microwave.”

“My sister asked me to edit some photos for her wedding website.”

“I installed 2 switches in my brother’s Prius that do nothing. They just run off watch batteries to light up. Let’s see what happens.”

“Day 5 of adding stuff to the nativity scene until my mom notices. Well, she noticed this morning — it’s been a good run everyone!”

“My wife always complains that it takes me too long to clean up the yard. I don’t see the problem.”

Rule of thumb: how to choose a husband

“I saw this sticker in the restroom at a movie theater. That’s a hand dryer. Also it doesn’t work no matter what you do.”