I was born with my intestines hanging out of my body. A medical condition called gastroschisis. I have no bellybutton but a long scar and warped flesh where it should be. No lingering medical issues from it.

I’ve been tickled by Matthew McConaughey.

I once befriended the wild squirrels in my backyard over an afternoon, after which they allowed me to pet them and pick them up.

I was born without a butthole. So I spent my first couple months in the hospital after being born and got a man-made asshole.

I went to Las Vegas with my dad. He was playing craps and cashed out at the exact same time as another guy. They both asked the dealer for their points card back. The dealer was shocked and said to the table that there are 2 people cashing out for exactly the same amount ($305) and had exactly the same first and last name. We walked over to meet him and discovered he was there with his son with exactly the same name as me. They were staying at the same hotel we were staying at. We all had a mini freak out then went for beers to learn more about each other.

I’ve written multiple hit records but live at my parents still and work at a pizza place

I was shot dead center in my chest and the chest plate stopped it.

I’m 23 and I still have a baby tooth. An adult tooth never grew in so it never popped out. Dentist said they were unsure if it’ll just pop out randomly.

I managed to synch up Pink Floyd to a total solar eclipse in 2017. I listened to “Brain Damage” and “Eclipse” and the line “But the sun is eclipsed by the moon” finished right as the sun was eclipsed by the moon.

I was shot in the ass cheek at age ten (BB gun) and still have the bullet in my ass cheek.

I once had a fistfight with an Ostrich. And a monkey. Not at the same time, I should add.

I have Sicilian mob ties on my mom’s side through blood and upper FBI ties on my dad’s side through blood.

I have ten toes but 11 toenails.

I got served papers to appear in civil court. I was being sued for taking money for a painting job and then never completing it. I was, however, not a painter. When I reached out to the guy’s lawyer, he basically didn’t believe me (and I mean, that’s fair), so I had to meet up with him and his client so he could verify that no, I wasn’t a 60-something housepainter who’d skipped out on a job. They were pretty amused when I told them I knew exactly who it was they were actually looking for, though of course, I didn’t have any clue how to find him. Oh right, and the whole family lived across the street from me growing up.

I once saw a Swedish movie called “Smala Sussie”. One song in the movie stuck with me hard so I ended up searching for it for hours during the night (this was the Napster/Kazaam days). I eventually fucking found it and directly put it in my musicplayer. Next day at work a new guy started at our workplace, I’m supposed to show him around. We get to talking and ended up tellin him about why I’m tired (staying up all night searching for a song). Badam, the guy is the drummer in the song. Don’t think anything rarer ever happened to me…

I don’t know my own birthday

I once ran over myself with a car. Playing in the car, act like I’m driving. Knock car out of park; it starts rolling backwards down the driveway. Panic! In the driveway. Try to get out of car, open door & fall into ground right behind front wheel (as it’s rolling toward me). Somehow manage to get all but my leg out of the way. Car rolls across street into ditch and comes to a stop. Parents grab me to go to the hospital. Car won’t start because tailpipe plugged with dirt. Neighbors take us to ER. Still have a piece of gravel in my knee.