“When I was younger my dad told me that horses were called “cows” and that cows are called “horses”. I went by this terminology until third grade where I got into a heated argument with one of my teachers which led to my first and only school suspension. Thanks dad.”

“I once asked my older cousin what BDSM meant and she said “Beijos Da Sailor Moon” (portuguese for Kisses From Sailor Moon). so 10 year old me started using BDSM as my online signature.”

“I was told when I was a child that blood wasn’t replenishable, so any time I got a cut or slice I would bandaid up for days, thinking about how I’m probably still about 98% full of blood and how long I can make it last.”

“Until I was in 5th grade I thought you could get pregnant from French kissing. It was very traumatic when a boy French kissed me at the Roller rink and I had to go home and tell my mom, I think I’m pregnant. Lol”

“Thought that dogs were ‘sprayed’ rarher than ‘spayed’ and that there was a special castrating spray you could buy. Raised this once to my girlfriend with the worry that ‘”someone could get this and use it on people” and she proceeded to laugh until she almost vomited. I was doing a masters degree.”

“Medieval times never happened. Nobody told me that they didn’t, I just thought that since dragons were fictional so was everything else. 4th grade blew my mind.”

“As a kid watching Shrek, seeing Puss in Boots get in trouble for having catnip on him I always just assumed cat owners had to go to some pet black market to get ahold of the shit. I didn’t find out catnip was not an illegal substance until I was 23 years old.”

“My dad told my sister that the bumps in the road (lane dividers) are “Road Braille” for blind people who drive…she believed well into adulthood.”

“So when I was little, probably three or four, I was eating grapes one day and my grandmother told me very seriously that if I eat too many grapes, they’d go down and end up in my ballsack. Later that day while taking bath I remember I felt my ballsack and crying out loud as I assumed it was the grapes I ate. Yeah. It took a while for my mom to convince me that they were already there.”

“When I was 3 or 4, my cousin told me cotton candy was made out of spiderwebs. I’m in my thirties now. I KNOW it’s not spiderwebs, but I still can’t bring myself to eat it.”

“That speed bumps were actually the resting place of the deceased, and basically they’d lay some bodies down, pave over them, and you had a speed bump. I was a naive kid, and my uncle was as jerk.”

“My mom told me that her friend saw a ghost on her computer because she was on it after 11pm. Took me until college started to realise she just didn’t want us playing computer games till that late.”

“When I was a child I believed that the term “soap opera” referred to when people sing in the shower.”

“I (born 1982) believed that my gameboy needs to rest after playing on it, since it gets tired just like a person. Clever parenting, in hindsight ;)”

“I grew up in a tea drinking family. I would often drink tea. With lots of sugar. And I would often leave the teaspoon in the cup while I drank. People would say: “watch out. You’ll go blind from that.” And I would be like. Nah, man. Ain’t no one I ever heard of gone blind from drinking too much tea. When I turned 18-19 it dawned on me.. they meant that the teaspoon would someday poke me in the eye.”

“When I was a kid, my mom had this old car with a turn knob dial for the radio. She told me it only got oldies radio stations because it was so old. When they gave that car to my brother he immediately ripped the radio out and put in a new sound system. I always assumed he just wanted the new radio stations. Then I was in college riding in a friends old beater car and we were listening to a top 40 type radio station and I was like, “Holy shit, how is your car able to get modern radio stations!””

“My older cousin told me that U-Haul trucks were always full of whatever the picture on the side of the truck was. This made sense to me, Coke trucks were full of Coke, Walmart trucks were full of Walmart stuff, so why wouldn’t the truck with a submarine on the side be full of submarines? I was 8 or 9 when I asked my mom how they got dinosaurs into a truck if they were all extinct. I think she actually took my temperature after that question.”

“My dad use to hock loogies out the car window all the time and he didn’t want me to spit all the time so he always said he was spitting ice cubes out the window. It took me until I was like 15 to think “where the fuck is he getting an ice cube from?””