Caught him drunk as f**k, pissing in the produce drawer of the refrigerator.

Walked in on him trying to balance the remote control on his boner. This happened twice while living together.

Pleasuring himself on my bed during my sophomore year of college.

My old roommate handwrote an eviction notice and changed the locks when I and our third roommate were at work. When I kicked the door in, he went out the window and ran away. My other roommate and I moved out the next day, and I never saw him again.

I caught my ex-wife using a broom to pleasure herself… It was pretty f**ked up.

Cutting pictures out of porn mags and pasting them all over his walls like wallpaper.

Pissing on a pile on clothes in our shared closet at 4 am… He was blacked out.

Microwaving a whole frozen chicken in the packaging.

We had lofted beds in the dorms about 6ft high. Laying in bed and I hear something that sounds like rain. Roll over and look across the room to see my roommate with his dick out pissing all over the room. I jumped out and started yelling, but he didn’t wake up. So I climbed a chair and started punching him. He rolled over while I was cleaning it up and I heard him heaving and saw green tequila puke running down the wall. At that point, I said f**k it and left the room. Came back the next morning to him sitting at his desk and asking me “what happened?”.

My roommate got drunk while on his meds. I came home to find him working out in the kitchen at 3 am while dressed as a ninja.

During my freshman year, my college roommate used to be the only one of us with a fake ID. So naturally, we elected him to get alcohol for us that night. Everyone went out to party, and he decided to stay back with a bottle of Everclear. Came back to the room to find him passed out on his bunk with his pants around his ankles and his dick in his hand. After getting a couple of buddies to see what I had just stumbled upon, and taking a couple of blackmail snapshots, I went to bed. Later that night, I was awakened to him pissing on the radiator heater in our room… he still hasn’t lived it down almost 20 years later.

After a night of us drinking, woke up to the sound of water splashing… roommate was sitting on the foot of my bed leaning back peeing under my desk. Told him to get to the bathroom and he looked me dead in the eyes and said “this is the bathroom”.

I went through a break up when I was 22 and had to find somewhere to live in super short notice. I ended up moving into a house with three dudes. One time, I got home from work earlier than usual and I heard someone up in my room (old house, creaky floors). I walked up the stairs to find one of the guys going through my dirty laundry. Needless to say, I moved out within a month.

My large roommate and I shared a morning class together. He came to wake me up by rolling on top of me. He proceeded to fall back asleep. As did I. My other roommate came to find us both passed out with the alarms blaring.

I got home from the bars and found my roommate passed out naked in my bed. When I asked why he was in my bed he said that he already pissed in his.

Not actually doing, but when I moved out of the apartment I went looking for my plates, silverware, etc. On his bed was something called an “Accu-Jack.” I immediately decided any forks or spoons in his room would be his to keep.

College roommate would straight up sleep hump his pillow. He was on the top bunk and I’d wake up to the whole bed banging against the wall. Dude thunder fu**ed that goose down!

My roommate had never had a drink. Apparently, he decided to partake one night. I came home early from my girlfriend’s dorm and found him naked, on the floor, in the fetal position covered in baby oil. And it smelled like poop. I slowly closed the door and never spoke of it. Moved out the next week.

Walked in when my door was closed while I was fapping and then proceeded to try to have a 15-minute conversation.