“Gave myself 2nd degree burns on my fingers with a steam cooker at my job. Hurts like hell.”

“These have all been killed in our basement in the last hour. We have a pet and a two year old. We also know of another swarm by our garage. And there goes our relaxing Sunday.”

“Entire dropped ceiling just collapsed in my basement, great.”

“Someone smashed my window, I replaced it, immediately happened again. Hadn’t even taken the sticker off yet.”

“Left my truck parked next to a lamp post before a storm.”

“Was just about to do the final layer of details and I dropped the container. This caused paint to spill everywhere. Including on my helmet.”

“$13 salad on the floor of the car.”

“Well, it is not a good idea to clean the screen of the Macbook with glass cleaner.”

“For a month, I thought I lost my wedding ring on a cross country road trip. I called gas stations, pawn shops, searched lost and found post. Finally, I gave up ever seeing it again when we realized it was under my husbands deodorant!!!”

“There’s an emergency in room 308…”

“Coworker let me know after the meeting that I looked naked and pissed off the whole time! “

“Yesterday, I got a flat tyre. Today, I put an inspection hole in my sump with a rock.”

“Dropped two pies on the floor as they were coming out of the oven.”

“On my way to the market I stepped in a bit of mud.”

“Sunk my four wheeler while looking for my phone that also sunk.”

“When your already having a bad day and someone changes the settings on the toaster.”

“God. Dammit.”

“Got a new bra from online. When it arrived this thing was still attached.”

“Opened my Honey BBQ Fritos and they didn’t taste too flavorful. After some investigating, I found the reason why.”

“My remote control car spontaneously combusted and almost burnt my house down.”

“My noodles are all cabbage”