He told me he loved dank memes and then showed me a rage comic. He also used the word doggo unironically. There was clearly no future there. On a different date, a guy rejected my offer to pay for a bagel and then spent the next ten minutes explaining why he didn’t mind paying for a $4 bagel due to his meticulous financial planning.

She smelled like cheese. Not like a delicate Muenster, but more like a sharp Cheddar.

I asked him what he did for a living and he said Herbalife.

She asked me to take her to the local amusement park and then let me know she ‘didn’t do rides’ once we got there. I would have loved to take her literally anywhere else, until that date…

She didn’t believe me when I explained how centuries are counted. I told her that the 19th century is the 1800s, and she asked ‘How does that work?’ So I explained how the years 1-100 are the first century, the years 101-200 are the second century, and so on. Her response? ‘Nah, you’re having me on!’

I got a chip in my windshield on my way to pick her up. Put me in an off mood and we didn’t really connect.

He wore fingerless gloves and had blackheads on his ears

Two experiences come to mind. 1. He kept making car noises. Not the occasional car noise, I’m talking full blown rally car race noises for at least 40% of the date. He made car noises while we were in his car and it made its OWN noises. 2. He told me he had a boner (????)

Not sure if petty or not. Went on a blind date. At some point the girl started saying “When we have kids, you have to tell them we met when you saved me from a burning house.” I was a firefighter at the time. That line was just too much for me so I bailed on her… She kept trying to call and text me, but thankfully about a week later my phone was destroyed on a fire call.

She called me the coca cola kid, because I got water instead of pepsi. She only said it once but it annoyed me so I never called her back.

Because she kept dragging her heel when she walked. Fuck outta here with that shit.

Not sure if this counts but I ruined any shot I had at a second date because I found out the girl had a fear of spoons and couldn’t stop asking questions about it.

Was really excited when this really handsome, very nice, super smart guy asked me out in college. Took me out for a really nice dinner. Totally wanted to make out with him, and had the opportunity on a pleasant walk late that night. Only problem, he smelled like baby powder and chocolate chip cookies. One or the other, maybe, but those aromas together made him smell like a baby and I just couldn’t even imagine trying to make out with him again.

he “left his wallet in the car”, didn’t go to get it, proceeded to order the most expensive thing on the menu… no

We drove to the restaurant separately. I had already kinda decided it wouldn’t have a future, but we decided to go back to my place to have drinks anyway. I gave him my address in case we got separated on the way there. Yeah he just went home. Which would’ve been fine, but the fucker had grabbed both our leftovers when we left the restaurant. He took the rest of my calzone.

She picked up her phone directly after eating BBQ wings without wiping her hands off.

He said “giggity” in casual conversation.

She ate all the bread you get before the meal arrives. I wanted some of the bread. Deleted her number and blocked her when I got home.

He asked me if I wanted a soda from a hot dog cart, and I said yes. He asked me to get him one too.

He came to pick me up and he was wearing a bowler hat and a tie dye shirt.

She tailgated the shit out of everyone, always. I had a sore leg from stomping on the imaginary brake.

She used the same laundry detergent as my grandmother.

He was studying to be an orthodontist and would not stop commenting on how great he thought my teeth were. They were nice comments, but come on, dude. It was starting to feel like the creepy beginnings of a movie about a serial killer with a tooth fetish. He was a nice guy, but I was so turned off by his love for teeth that I couldn’t do a second date.

She enunciated every word ending in ing with a “guh”. fuckinguh makes me so upset.

He ate all of the popcorn before the movie had started. I don’t need that sort of irrational behaviour in my life.