“Wife hung her necklace on the plug which I didn’t realize before I unplugged it.”

“Truckload of chicken feet overturned in someone yard near my house.”

“Been away from home (Texas) for almost 2 years & couldn’t wait to eat a Whataburger. The power is out.”

“Today I received a McChicken with no chicken.”

“Nastiest passenger award goes to this guy. His child also proceeded to run up and down the isle screaming. Fun times.”

“I simply can’t handle this anymore.”

When your ice cream sandwich only comes with one cookie.

“Boss told me to clean the old storage room.”

“Just when I was putting the last door for my Ikea closet, I slipped on a piece of cardboard and stepped on the glass.”

“Went hiking for my partners birthday. There were a bugs.”

“Had a long day, thought I’d order some food. Courier dropped the food in the lobby and left.”

“When FedEx finally delivers the package you’ve been waiting on….in the rain…with the corner open from them folding..”

“Found out today that I developed an allergy to raspberries, my favorite fruit.”

“I forgot to take the BBQ tray out of the oven before turning it on.”

“We sterilize every flight” but apparently do not remove human hair from a cup holder do we JetBlue?”

“Get all the way to work, look down and this is what I see. I work 1.5 hours from home, so I can’t go home and change.”

‘I’m waiting for the tow truck right now.”

“This pickle jar broke my jar opener.”

“My sister finally finished the puzzle she got for Christmas last year…”

Welp.

“My sister toasted bread with jelly in my brand new toaster. She’s 31.”

“Picked mangoes from a neighbor’s tree and then touched my face. APPARENTLY mango tree sap is very toxic and will burn your skin.”

“Lost my grip on the jar of kitty snacks…”

Ever had your belt buckle fall into the urinal?