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1.Between one of my friends and a random person at the blood bank (I was donating and we were going to go get lunch afterward).
Stranger: Are you going to donate too?
Him: I would if I could, but medically I can't.
Stranger: Why? You got HIV or something?
He did in fact live with HIV.
2.What happened to your baby? I thought you were pregnant?
3.Asking someone to repeat themselves a 3rd time.
And it’s never anything important - the other person usually ends up screaming, “The grass is really wet over here!”
4.Are we more than friends?
5."Could we check for gonorrhea and other STDs now when I'm being tested for chlamydia?"
I did not know it would upgrade the procedure from simply peeing in a cup to getting a stick up my urethra.
6."Was she better than me?"
Just don't do it.
7.PreCovid, at work they would often have mobile services like blood donations park beside our building. One day I was walking with a woman at work who wanted to talk about things while getting some fresh air. There was a long period of silence when I couldn’t think of anything to talk about and I saw we were walking up to the edge of the building and a large mobile was parked there, so I asked her “Have you ever done that before?”
She looked at the mobile parked there and back at me, her face turned bright red.
“That is a very personal thing to ask!” She said, face still bright red.
“Really?” I said as we walked next to it.
Then I noticed this wasn’t a Blood Mobile.
It was a Mammogram Mobile.
I spent a lot of time over-explaining myself.
We generally hate the, “what’s the worst call you’ve ever ran”
Think of the worst things you can possibly imagine and someone had to respond to that call. The sick, the injured, every trauma, every overdose, every suicide, every evil deed done by one person to another person, every accident, every dead kid, husband, wife, father, mother.
So when you ask, “what’s the worst call you’ve ever ran, we now have to relive the worst calls/moments of our lives as we try to deflect or crack a joke.”
I hate that question.
9."So, what's the age of consent here?"
10.What're you gonna do, stab me?
11.It hurts to ask for help a lot of the time, when people respond badly it makes it worse
12.Senior NCO: “Alright people I need 3 volunteers.”
NUB E-2: “What for chief?”
Senior NCO: “Great now I just need 2 more volunteers!”
13.My 13-year-old daughter killed herself...and so many people asked how.
14.Why would someone want to adopt a child?"
This hurts, every time, because my parents were my foster and then adopted me. They knew they would have a struggle adopting so late in life and the mental, emotional and social scars my biofam left me with. They still chose to adopt me, to care for me, to love me, unconditionally through every breakdown, every fight, all the troubles I had with school and bullies. They fought for me when my biofam tried to barge back into my life after i made it clear i wanted nothing to do with them, they kept me safe! so, doubters, let me fire one back at you:
"Why would you deny foster kids a family?"
my family lost me because partying and boys were more important than i was, but the family I have would cut off their own arm if it meant it would keep me safe.
15.Is it in yet?
16.I had a friend in elementary school who was putting on a particularly heavy dose of sunscreen. some kid asked him why he’s putting on so much. he said “cuz my mom has skin cancer” and the room just became silent.
17."Hey teacher, are you going to collect the homework you assigned yesterday?"
18.So uhhhh… do you guys do random drug tests?
19.One day back when I was at school, I didn’t have my phone on silent, and it went off during class. The teacher thought he’d make an example out of me and ask who the text was from. I replied “My Mum. She’s in hospital with cancer.” He shut right up and went back to the lesson.
(She was being treated for Stage 4 bowel cancer. She had a 25% prognosis, so naturally, everyone was on edge. That was almost 15 years ago, and fortunately, she’s still with us, and got the all-clear some time ago).
20.As a teenager I worked in a grocery store, I saw a customer whose back was to me struggling with all their items, so I asked "do you need a hand?". The man turned around and I could see he was missing a hand, there was just a stub there, that is why he was struggling. He was a good sport and said "Yes, it seems I do!", lifting his arm missing the hand in the air.
21.“When are you going to have children?” or any variation. Be ready to be told they’ve lost a baby, infertility, sexless marriage, etc.
22.In college, some friends and I got caught smoking weed in a park by a park ranger.
He was pretty cool and it seemed like we were going to get away with a warning until my one friend piped up and said
"You're not going to call the real cops are you?"
Dude's attitude towards us did a 180 real quick.
"You see this gun? You see this badge? I am the real cops."
23.Any question from a supposed authority or expert that reveals a complete lack of understanding of the matter in question. E.g., a judge who once asked why the YouTube video under evidence could not be printed for him to review.
There's nothing worse than the internal screaming when you realize that your work and company's reputation is now completely hostage to someone who hasn't the faintest idea how what you do works.
24.The name of someone you’ve known for a while.
25.As a server, “Where’s that other woman you always come in with?”