I am an identical twin and one time a girl asked me if we get each other confused.

I'm a postpartum nurse. A patient asked me "when will the doctor be here to pierce my nipples so I can breastfeed?"

While working as a butcher, I showed a deli clerk how to break down a whole chicken into pieces. I show her, "two breasts, two wings, two legs, two thighs." she looks at me and asks, "which part does the turkey come from?"

Because I am a dwarf I get a lot of hilarious ones, but one of my favourites was "do you need to get a smaller engine for your car?" I really wish I could have seen your internal process that led to that question, lady.

The insurance company asked if there was a chance that my dad's amputated leg would grow back.

Someone was placing an order once at my family’s restaurant, and they had asked me for a side of French fries without the potatoes. I assumed she was joking, so I laughed...she wasn’t joking. She got offended and left the restaurant

“Do we have the ability to open digital files?” This is the guy who would print PDFs from our server then scan the print to his email so he could save them to his desktop...

Was a Mac Genius for 7 years, customer asked if her iPod would get heavier as she puts more music on it.

Waited on a woman who asked me what kind of meat was in our beef taco salad. Lady: what kind of meat is in your beef taco salad? Me : Beef L: what kind of beef? Me: Beef, ground beef seasoned with taco seasoning. L: No, I mean is it pork or chicken? Me: Ma’am, it’s beef, it’s from a cow. It’s beef.

I have a buzz cut. A guy at work recently asked, dead seriously “Do you cut your hair? Or does it only grow that long?”

First day working a tech support job, I answer a phone call from a woman whose laptop won't turn on. She's at the airport trying to get some work done and is very frustrated because she had been working for several hours during a layover and the laptop suddenly shut off. I asked her if she had the laptop plugged in when it shut off, or if she was just running it on the battery. "It can be plugged in? I thought it was supposed to be wireless." I honestly thought I was being pranked because I was the new guy. After a lengthy pause to decide if this was a serious call, I advised her to try plugging it in. Laptop turned on, she was amazed that it didn't just recharge itself when she wasn't using it.

In high school, we were warming up before a baseball game one evening and some really ominous ,dark clouds started rolling in. One of my teammates very seriously asked “Is that a storm or is that just night coming?”. I will never forget that.

Literally had a guy ask me yesterday “if I hit the cash back button, does the money come out of my account?” Dude was like 30 and he thought cash back was just...free money I guess?

Did your grandpa ever have any kids?

The Scene: Meeting some new people in a college class. I introduce myself, "Hi, I'm LoveIsLegallyBlind." New classmate: "Don't you mean DifferentNameThatSoundsALittleLikeMine?" Me: "No..." He thinks it's time to double down. "Are you sure? Why not?" Me: "Because that's not what my parents named me..." Like what? Who corrects someone on their own name? I have a somewhat unusual name. People misspell it or mispronounce it all the time, but this was special.

"What time is the 3 O'clock parade?" I worked at Disney World. This is the #1 most common question you'll get asked as a Cast Member in the Magic Kingdom.

Do you think they're a little old to be lesbians?

A girlfriend of a friend of mine asked. “ I wonder what it was like before color”. This chick thought the WORLD WAS BLACK AND WHITE not film.

How did we know that they were called dinosaurs?

My twenty-something daughter asked why we never see squirrel eggs. Us parent types responded that's because squirrels are mammals and don't lay eggs like birds do. To which she responded, then show me an infant squirrel / "breastfeeding" squirrel. This led to a conversation that was much longer than needed to be.

People visiting Alaska on a cruise would walk onto the dock-- a dock portruding into the pacific ocean-- then look up at the mountains and ask what elevation we were at. 1 foot, ma'am. You are standing on a dock which is at sea level.

My current boss asked me to "make the pages smaller" so she can see all of them" she had excel zoomed in to 200% and thought I was just sending things in font 46. This person has been in her position for 12 years. Ugh.

In my driver’s ed class the instructor was discussing cardinal directions. He asked a girl on the front row what direction her house was from here. She points out the window and he goes “so, West?” She responds “well, it’s my East because I’m facing you. “

"A full moon only happens once every 10 years, right?"

Working for a rafting company I’m asked far too often at the end of the float if we are back at the start. Rivers don’t flow in god damn circles!

If it was possible to even land a plane on Japan because it's so small. Because, you know, maps are a 1:1 description of the world

The guy ahead of me asked the Chipotle employee, “What’s ‘lay-tuck-ee’?” It was lettuce. He asked what lettuce was.

Work in retail. Guy comes in. He looks pretty average. Has a nice suit, nice glasses, well kept hair. Above average I guess. He's looking for a particular stock pot that the store carries and I bring him over to where they're kept. He begins to stare at the box, a deeply troubled look emerges slowly on his face as he places his hand on his chin. The box art depicts the pot in use, with some photoshopped water and a corn cob bobbing out of it (this is relevant, trust me). After about 10 seconds of him staring perplexedly at the box I ask, "Anything else I can help you with?" He replies, sounding confused, "So... this thing can only be used to cook corn?" I stared blankly at him. Was he fucking with me? His vexed demeanor told me no, he was indeed concerned about the product's potentially limited use. I honestly have no idea how long I was speechless. It felt like minutes. I couldn't speak. No one is that dumb, right? He eventually says, "It's ok, I'll figure it out from here", and continued to gaze at the box in hopes of gleaning the answers to the troubles he had encountered.