Just bought this salami today. Took off the overwrap packaging at home to find out it’s entirely moldy. Back to the store I go.

Newly built house (right) has it's fence built just far enough out to block access to mine (left)

Garbage man broke the wheels on my trash bin

Asked for a pizza and some garlic bread and they gave me garlic bread pizza

Went to a show last night, this person spend the majority of the event like this

Getting ready to leave for work this morning and I woke up to this, I’m the red car. Just how do you park like this

Chase says my checking and savings account are $200 Billion overdrawn and I need to make a deposit. Checking my sofa now for some loose change

I cant help but wonder if they all cant read or if they just insist on doing the dumb.

According to my boyfriend, his toothbrush does not need to be changed.

About to list my house for sale and have staging photos taken, yard cleanup guys just weed-wacked a rock into the window of my back door.

Found accessories on my tires this morning

This roll of toilet paper with no core

Work vehicle has giant "does not turn on red" sticker on the back. Drivers still honk at me and get mad when I don't turn on red

This menu with no prices at a corner bar

My downstairs neighbor tied their TV antenna to my deck railing with a cut cord for better reception...

These jeans are $1700

I was robbed! This pizza roll is just an empty shell.

I was mid poop in a large public restroom and someone turned off the lights

On this online Where’s Waldo picture someone edited it to hide Waldo

Sheriff searches the greyhound, questioning everyone, delaying us 45 mins.

“Dog decided to bust through my bedroom door like the Kool-Aid man while I was at work.”

“Was enjoying a cup of coffee until..”

“This pizza i got from little caesars.”

“Reserved a suite months ago for a San Diego vacation, only to find out during check-in that the pool and spa are closed for renovation.”

“Drove 4 hours on rough roads to get to this spot I’ve always wanted to fish. Discovered I left my fly box at home. FML.”

“Groundhog, who I’m literally friends with, ate my fuel line.”

“New tires. Went to workout and came back to this.”

“My friend jokingly jumped on the hood of my car and put a big dent in it”

“My shoe attacked me and I didn’t notice until after work”

“was going to get some late night water. thought it tasted a little funny. turned on my lights to see this”