Just right out of the blue, a lawyer shows up at our office and tells us our uncle, Jameson Schmidt the IV, has passed away of dysentery during an expedition to the Amazon rainforest. He scanned the room to and fro, looking at everyone and no one in particular.
An awkward silence ensued, lasting until one of the interns finally spoke up, pointing out that none of us were related and thus could not share the same uncle. But the man just chuckled with a funny sort of glint in his eye before leaving us an envelope addressed to 'Dearest eBaums World."
We were excited -- the Amazon rainforest? Our collective uncle must have been a true man of the world. An explorer. The kind of man who knows
things. A man of means. What prize had he left us? Some fine castle in Northern Scotland? A scar-riddled sailboat with nothing but a half-full bottle of nameless whiskey and a treasure map? Money?
. He left us 31 memes, printed out on copy paper and stapled together. One of the sheets was backward. Bastard. Looking back on it now, he probably left the bulk of his estate to his wife and children.