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1. You cannot brew alcohol stronger than one percent at home. At least you can drink on the subway, eh Japan? Aside from curtailing hipsters this law seems harsh. I mean, the only drinks that have less than 1% alcohol content are fruit juices and O’Douls. And who’s going to brew O’Douls at home, and who even drinks O’Doul’s for that matter?
2. If you discover life in outer space that may be hazardous to public health, you are required to immediately report it to the Secretary-General of the United Nations, as well as to the international scientific community. That’s right, part of being a Japanese citizen is having enough exobiological knowledge to determine if an alien species is dangerous or if its just here to play basketball. Also, this raises the poignant question of: “What happened that they felt this NEEDED to be a law?” My guess is that some giant alien monster attacked Japan and that no one reported it until Godzilla stepped in. I’m looking at you, Gigan (He was from space for those of you who got laid in high school).
3. It is forbidden to damage or throw away money and if you do, you could be fined up to ¥200,000 or face a year in prison. I believe this is literal and not metaphorical. Like, it’s illegal to place twenty bucks in a garbage can, but it’s not illegal to purchase lottery tickets, gym memberships and ice-cream makers. And yeah, the fine is excessive, but if you’re throwing money away, you should be able to afford it.
4. If you die in a duel, the national insurance companies will not pay out to your next of kin. Now this law makes sense. Think about this: if you lost a duel, then your next of kin, who was not chosen to fight because his skills with the longsword were nowhere near yours, becomes a lucrative target for both bandits and continued blood feuds. I’m also extremely happy that you can still have duels in Japan.
5. An elder brother can ask for his younger brother’s girlfriend’s hand in marriage. Just in case you thought your older brother was a jerk just remember that in Japan your brother can legally steal your girlfriend and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it; except maybe tell your mom, but no one likes a tattle tale. I think this law is the reason the law about duels is still on the books.
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