7 Celebrities I Could Take in a Fight, and 4 That I Could Not

Featured 02/21/2020 in Funny

These are a few of the celebrities whose asses I could totally beat if necessary, and a few who I would be afraid of. Sound off on who you think...

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1. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #1: Peter Dinklage - While I would never WANT to fight Peter Dinklage, at 4' 5" tall and weighing roughly 110 lbs., I think it is unquestionable that I would be able to easily take him down in a fight.
2. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #2: Ed Sheeran - I have thankfully not yet seen a full body shot of Ed Sheeran, but if that isn't the face of a guy who gets his ass beat on the regular, I'll have to rethink my life.
3. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #3: Eminem- This might be controversial, but since his sobriety, Slim Shady has quickly become Chunk Shady. During his Oscar performance this year, he looked gassed, not-flexible, and paunchy. While I congratulate Marshall on his getting clean and stable, I definitely think I could kick his ass.
4. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #4: Pete Davidson - Pete has several inches on me in both height and apparently his genitals. That said, I'd be willing to bet that Pete has a bigger glass jaw than a Gundam designed by Steve Jobs. One good punch and he'd be on the floor.
5. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #5: Daniel Radcliffe - The young Mr. Potter is both incredibly handsome and likable, but growing up as a billionaire boy wizard has almost definitely made him soft. I think he has no chance in a fight against me.
6. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #6: Mark Wahlberg - Marky Mark looks tough, but he's from Boston. I could kick the ass of anyone from Boston, no contest.
7. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #7: Sylvester Stallone - Rocky, Rambo, Cobra, Judge Dredd - none of these characters could I take in a fight. However, at 73 years old, I don't think present-day Stallone has the necessary endurance and cardio-vascular integrity to beat me in a fight.
8. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #1: Adam Driver - While the goatee and his work with Lena Dunham makes it seem like Adam Driver would be easily destroyed, he WAS a former US Marine. With his training, I assume Adam knows some secret ass-kicking techniques that would put me down.
9. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #2: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - I do not think a fight between me and the Rock would be fair or last very long. I would not win.
10. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #3: Christian Bale - Christian Bale's dedication to his craft regularly has him dropping or gaining hundred of pounds. This is psychotic energy, and I would be very scared to fight him.
11. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #4: Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers - In A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, America's Dad, Tom Hanks, does a gentle and heartfelt tribute to America's Grandpa, Mr. Rogers. Physically, I think there would be no problem for me in the fight. But Fred Rogers would not raise his hands in anger, and in the end, that is the real way to win.

1. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #1: Peter Dinklage - While I would never WANT to fight Peter Dinklage, at 4' 5" tall and weighing roughly 110 lbs., I think it is unquestionable that I would be able to easily take him down in a fight.
2. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #2: Ed Sheeran - I have thankfully not yet seen a full body shot of Ed Sheeran, but if that isn't the face of a guy who gets his ass beat on the regular, I'll have to rethink my life.
3. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #3: Eminem- This might be controversial, but since his sobriety, Slim Shady has quickly become Chunk Shady. During his Oscar performance this year, he looked gassed, not-flexible, and paunchy. While I congratulate Marshall on his getting clean and stable, I definitely think I could kick his ass.
4. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #4: Pete Davidson - Pete has several inches on me in both height and apparently his genitals. That said, I'd be willing to bet that Pete has a bigger glass jaw than a Gundam designed by Steve Jobs. One good punch and he'd be on the floor.
5. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #5: Daniel Radcliffe - The young Mr. Potter is both incredibly handsome and likable, but growing up as a billionaire boy wizard has almost definitely made him soft. I think he has no chance in a fight against me.
6. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #6: Mark Wahlberg - Marky Mark looks tough, but he's from Boston. I could kick the ass of anyone from Boston, no contest.
7. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #7: Sylvester Stallone - Rocky, Rambo, Cobra, Judge Dredd - none of these characters could I take in a fight. However, at 73 years old, I don't think present-day Stallone has the necessary endurance and cardio-vascular integrity to beat me in a fight.
8. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #1: Adam Driver - While the goatee and his work with Lena Dunham makes it seem like Adam Driver would be easily destroyed, he WAS a former US Marine. With his training, I assume Adam knows some secret ass-kicking techniques that would put me down.
9. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #2: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - I do not think a fight between me and the Rock would be fair or last very long. I would not win.
10. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #3: Christian Bale - Christian Bale's dedication to his craft regularly has him dropping or gaining hundred of pounds. This is psychotic energy, and I would be very scared to fight him.
11. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #4: Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers - In A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, America's Dad, Tom Hanks, does a gentle and heartfelt tribute to America's Grandpa, Mr. Rogers. Physically, I think there would be no problem for me in the fight. But Fred Rogers would not raise his hands in anger, and in the end, that is the real way to win.

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Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #1: Peter Dinklage - While I would never WANT to fight Peter Dinklage, at 4' 5" tall and weighing roughly 110 lbs., I think it is unquestionable that I would be able to easily take him down in a fight.

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Tags: celebrities celeb fight funny eminem pete davidson mark adam driver tom hanks lulz

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7 Celebrities I Could Take in a Fight, and 4 That I Could Not

1. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #1: Peter Dinklage - While I would never WANT to fight Peter Dinklage, at 4' 5" tall and weighing roughly 110 lbs., I think it is unquestionable that I would be able to easily take him down in a fight.

2. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #2: Ed Sheeran - I have thankfully not yet seen a full body shot of Ed Sheeran, but if that isn't the face of a guy who gets his ass beat on the regular, I'll have to rethink my life.

4. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #4: Pete Davidson - Pete has several inches on me in both height and apparently his genitals. That said, I'd be willing to bet that Pete has a bigger glass jaw than a Gundam designed by Steve Jobs. One good punch and he'd be on the floor.

5. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #5: Daniel Radcliffe - The young Mr. Potter is both incredibly handsome and likable, but growing up as a billionaire boy wizard has almost definitely made him soft. I think he has no chance in a fight against me.

6. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #6: Mark Wahlberg - Marky Mark looks tough, but he's from Boston. I could kick the ass of anyone from Boston, no contest.

7. Celeb I COULD Beat in a Fight #7: Sylvester Stallone - Rocky, Rambo, Cobra, Judge Dredd - none of these characters could I take in a fight. However, at 73 years old, I don't think present-day Stallone has the necessary endurance and cardio-vascular integrity to beat me in a fight.

8. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #1: Adam Driver - While the goatee and his work with Lena Dunham makes it seem like Adam Driver would be easily destroyed, he WAS a former US Marine. With his training, I assume Adam knows some secret ass-kicking techniques that would put me down.

9. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #2: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - I do not think a fight between me and the Rock would be fair or last very long. I would not win.

10. Celeb I COULD NOT Beat in a Fight #3: Christian Bale - Christian Bale's dedication to his craft regularly has him dropping or gaining hundred of pounds. This is psychotic energy, and I would be very scared to fight him.

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