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1. I used to think that eating cold turkey somehow helped people quit smoking.
2. That the song "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins was about him witnessing a man letting another man drown
3. That artichoke hearts were toxic. All because my dad wanted me and my brother to leave them for him.
4. Cracking your knuckles is bad for you and causes arthritis.
5. When I was a kid, my mom always told me that all the nutrition in bread is in the crust, so she wouldn't have to keep cutting it off. Found out that wasn't true when I was 20, after bringing it up to some friends. I still get sh*t for that.
6. That the black market was an actual market you could go to. I thought it was in Egypt or something. And would have black-colored stalls and sell crazy stuff.
7. I thought that when blind people put on sunglasses, they can see
8. A blanket was a viable parachute when jumping off a porch…
9. I had no clue that pickles and cucumbers were the same thing. I went to grow my first garden and commented that you can't find pickle seeds anywhere. /Facepalm
10. That spiders have big territories, so if your father killed the ENORMOUS spider in your room it was safe to go to bed, because there would be no other spiders in the WHOLE house.
11. Wishing on stars was a real thing.
When I was about 4 or 5 my dad overheard me wish on a bright star that the next time we went out to eat I would get a huge tub of vanilla ice cream (my fav)
A couple days later we went to the restaurant he was regional manager of (Hooters lmao) and out pops this waitress with one of those fancy tin things that you always see in gourmet restaurants in movies. You know, where they take the top of it off when you set it down? She sat it in front of me, pulled the top off, to reveal a big ole tub of vanilla ice cream. My little mind was blown and I don’t think I had ever been so excited.
I would tell that story to prove my point until I was like 12 years old lol
12. That the doctor tied a knot in your umbilical cord when you're born, and the knot determines if you have an innie or outie belly button
13. When I was younger I believed that in different countries, a version of myself was there.
Example: in France, there would be a French version of myself living a regular life
14. I pointed out to a bud of mine something he held as truth for like 20+ years.
If you boil water twice, it can kill you.
His mom always screeched at him to fully empty a kettle before boiling more water, or when cooking once it's brought to a boil, then down to a simmer, you're not allowed to bring the heat up again. Too much boiling WILL KILL YOU.
A quick Google search proves this is wrong but also where the tiny grain of truth spun his mom's brain out of control. Things like fluoride won't boil off. So if you boil the same water or keep adding to boiled water, you will just concentrate these chemicals until you get a lethal dose! Except in order to do that you'd have to boil 100s of 1,000s of gallons of water AND drink it all in a single sitting. Which you would never do because drinking that much safe water could kill you a few times over.
15. My grandad loved dark chocolates. He always told my dad that dark chocolate is poisonous to children so he wouldn't take any. Trouble is, he never corrected him.
So, when my dad was 23 and at a friend's house, their toddler got hold of an after eight.
Cue my dad leaping from the couch, shouting "NO" and slapping the chocolate out of the toddler's hand.
16. Touching a baby bird will make the mother abandon them
17. Swallowed bubble gum would remain forever in your stomach
18. That sneezing w my eyes open would make my eyes pop out
19. I grew up in the midwest, so sometimes when we drove we would see haybales. I asked my grandfather once what they were for, and he explained they were to feed animals, and they collected the hay into big bales so they would fit into the cannon.
This Haybale cannon, he explained, would launch haybales to nearby fields, artillery style. That way we could round up all the hay in one spot and send it where it's needed. It sounded very plausible at 5 or so, and took me years to figure out was just some off the cuff joke that bastard got me with
20. When I was learning to drive, my dad told me that if you go over 75, the tires can overheat and explode. I believed that for WAY longer than I want to admit.
21. When I was a kid I thought zig zag rolling papers were little bibles, cause the dude on the front looked like Jesus to me.
22. Eating a seed will cause that tree to grow inside the stomach
23. That your blood is blue inside your body and it only turns red when it’s oxygenated. I only learned last year that it’s a myth. God, how stupid I feel ever thinking that was real.
24. I’m late to the party but my parents told me that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream.
25. It’s illegal to drive barefoot and also illegal to drive with the inside/dome lights on in your car.