25 People Share the Nastiest Things They've Ever Done
Having a bad day? Just think: it could be so much worse! Here are tales of the nastiest things the internet confessed to doing. You may not...
Published 3 years ago in Wtf
Here are tales of the nastiest things the internet confessed to doing. You may not want to read these after eating. But after reading, your bad day is going to feel a whole lot better!
1
When I was a kid, I went out with my friend and his father's family. We ate Chinese and after my stomach was hurting. I was the first one outside so I tried to fart and sharted instead. I was about to run to the back of the building to wipe and throw boxers away (it was nighttime) but they came outside already. I didn't know what to do so I got back in the truck. It just happened to be the kind where you open the front to get back door open. I rode all the way home (30mins) with sh*tty pants. They didn't say anything but drove with all windows down. to make it worse, when I got home I had to climb over someone to get out because I was in the middle seat so my ass went right by the daughter's face.-u/killing4food
2
When I was a kid learning to ski, I begged my parents to let me go pee before a run but we were already in line for the chairlift. my oldest sister told me “if you have to pee really bad, that means it’s only a little bit! so just pee!”I trusted her blindly but probably pissed myself for a solid 2 minutes. filled up and flooded my ski boots. my parents were not happy because I was definitely old enough to know better-u/badluckie
3
Not really my fault, but in second grade, I got a stomach bug and my parents didn’t want to answer the phone, so the stupid nurse sent me back to class. We were at P.E at the time, and I got horribly sick again, just as I finished throwing up a kid had kicked a kickball. The sound it made as it slid through my vom is still with me to this day-u/htxxalxx
7
When I was in high school, I was so constipated, a poop as wide as an egg's length was stuck inside of me. I strained and pushed to no avail, and eventually had to stick a lubed-up finger inside, trying desperately to work my way around this monster and crack a chunk off. no dice. I ended up laying in the bathtub with my legs up in the air, butthole pointed straight at the hot water blasting from the tub faucet, praying that it would be dislodged. Eventually, enough chunks came off that I was able to poop it out, and it felt like dry, cracked birth.-u/robodook
9
Pissed myself while I was really drunk and couldn't admit it so poured all my alcohol on myself to make it seem like I'd somehow gotten a bunch of liquid spilled on me. Since I was in a club that plan wasn't working, as you can imagine you can't just acquire that much alcohol for free and quickly, so I ended up trying to get into a sink in the bathroom and ended up getting taken away in an ambulance due to slipping. That sounds a lot less funny when I say it like that actually.-u/Haloperi-Doll
11
Doctor here, at one point in my career I was doing autopsies. Came in one day to the smell of bbq. I thought perhaps potluck or someone was cooking in the kitchen at work. Turned out there was a house fire and that was the smell of the victim. I performed the autopsy and despite my disgust, my mouth watered the entire time. Doing that type of work you learn to compartmentalize and leave your feelings at home, but he smelt so good I couldn’t eat meat for months and every so often I smell burnt meat and it takes me right back to it.-u/aliael14
15
Accidentally swallowed the crown on my front tooth after it came loose while I was eating taffy. I had the runs the next day and managed to shit it out while at work - I heard a clink in the toilet and I just knew. However, our toilets at work are automatic/use a motion sensor. I was TERRIFIED that I was going to move too quickly and make it flush, so I slowly crept off of the toilet and onto the bathroom floor - my asshole out in the open, covered in liquid turd - and crawled over to a box of latex gloves that we had in the bathroom. I somehow managed to avoid making the toilet flush, picked the crown out from the toilet, and called my dentist. He ran the crown through the sterilizer and put that $1400 bad boi right back into my mouth. I have no regrets.-u/Preskewl_Prostitewt
17
In 5th grade, I used to sh*t tiny little turds in my pants, discreetly take out the turd and encapsulate it in my hand, get up to "blow my nose", then I would put the turd in the tissue and throw it away in the trash can. Teacher then wonders why the classroom stinks and can't find the source. Why did I do this lmao-u/Phantom-A
18
One morning I was getting ready for work, still naked from just waking up and not feeling too good, either. I made the mistake of trusting a fart and a small bit of liquid hit the floor, I tried to run to the counter to grab paper towels but before I could react my dog was already lapping it up…-u/Scootacus93
19
I chugged a bottle of maple syrup like in Super Troopers. Drinking syrup is kind of gross, the nastiest parts were the stomach pains and aggressive farts that happened hours later due to the amount of sugar. My buddy was near the bathroom when I was letting them out and he said it sounded like Little Round Top.-u/hankypank3
20
Was caught in traffic and a construction zone a mile from the truck stop. Had really bad diarrhea in the median between the concrete wall and my truck, straight down my legs while standing. Changed clothes on the catwalk in between the truck and trailer. Oncoming traffic saw it all.-u/FireWireBestWire
21
I was asleep on the couch in some ghetto house I was renting while in college and a cock roach crawled inside my ear canal and got stuck inside. I woke up and felt it crawling around inside. Went to the emergency room and the doctor extracted. Felt so violated. Got ear f*cked by a roach.-u/assetguru
Most Popular
