Ftw - articles
Georgetown Students Turn Ash Wednesday Into Ass Wednesday, Draw Butts On Their Foreheads
As Catholics around the globe observed Ash Wednesday, making the start of Lent— a.k.a. The Mark Whalberg 40 Day Challenge — a few students at Georgetown University decided to put a hole-ier spin on the holy day, kicking off a celebration dubbed “A— Wedne
By Carly Tennes
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
We Talked to a Guy Who Farted So Hard He Floated
Sorry, Criss Angel — it appears the secret to levitation isn’t in wires, light tricks or “magic” but rather a really, really strong fart, a discovery Redditor u/eatingcrayons666 made during one very fateful trip to the bathroom.
By Carly Tennes
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Gerontologist Says the Key to Living Forever Is Being Chill
Over the years, many explorers have set out in search of the “Fountain of Youth” — a mythical place where bathing in or consuming its waters could make one live forever. In reality, these people should have just calmed the hell down.
Featured 1 year ago in Ftw
The Canadian Side of Niagara Falls Is Home to the World’s Wildest Burger King
In general, people say that it’s better to see Niagara Falls from the Canadian side. Not only do you get a better view of the falls, but you also have the added benefit of getting to see this monstrosity of a Burger King.
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Man Regularly Beats Up Guy Who Gave His Mom the COVID That Killed Her
Everyone has revenge fantasies from time to time.
By cathybara
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
This Valentine’s Day, A Chicago Zoo Is Giving You the Opportunity to Name a Cockroach After Your Ex
This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of hate. A Chicago zoo recently put out an enticing offer for the heartbroken — a perfect opportunity to get back at their exes by identifying them with what they really are: a cockroach.
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Autocorrect Creates Smothering Sexual Tension Between Woman and Her Handyman
Autocorrect has led to some pretty embarrassing mix-ups. From saying “sorry for the incontinence” to saying you suffer from a case of “milf dehydration,” the service that’s designed to help us can, more often than not, end up hurting us.
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Man Comes into Possession of 66 Tons of Chocolate
A Philadelphia man has found himself in quite the odd predicament, albeit one entirely of his own making. Curtis Remarc took to Twitter this week to reveal that one of his friends has come into 133,000 pounds of chocolate. Yes, you read that right.
By cathybara
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Sports Fans Bet On Punxsutawney Phil Because of Course They Did
As the world waited with bated breath to see whether Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, an occurrence that will singlehandedly determine whether we’ll have an early spring or six more weeks of winter, sports fans had more pressing concerns — w
By Carly Tennes
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
Nothing is Better Than a Teacher Who Protects His Student’s Pokémon Cards
For as long as time has existed, the nerds were forced to live a life of involuntary celibacy, deriving pleasure from activities among themselves like Dungeons and Dragons or cosplaying. That is, until one teacher unlocked the secret; casually placing you
Featured 1 year ago in Ftw
ScenicPisses is the Instagram Account Documenting the Most Scenic Piss Spots
There are several advantages to being a man, but one that women find themselves most envious of in sticky situations is the option to piss almost anywhere you need to. One Instagram account has turned that uniquely male perk into an artform by documenting
By cathybara
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
The Oompa Loompa Liberation Movement Has Its Own Woody Guthrie
Since Roald Dahl published Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in 1964, kids, adults, and comrades alike have questioned the ethics of the Oompa Loompas. Where did they come from? How are they paid? Do they have a union?
Featured 1 year ago in Ftw
‘Now That’s Metal’: Florida Man Jams Out to System of a Down While Undergoing Brain Surgery
No matter how metal you think you are, you’ll never be as metal as Christian Nolen, a guitar-wielding rocker who turned his brain surgery into a hardcore jam session.
By Carly Tennes
Featured 1 year ago in Ftw
The Pope Says Gettin’ Off is a ‘Gift from God’
Continuing his streak of saying unusually cool stuff, the Pope Francis has decided to let the world know that he believes sexual pleasure is a “gift from God,” although he was quick to follow that up with the recommendation that it be “disciplined with pa
By cathybara
Featured 1 year ago in Funny
