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'Soaking' Is the Latest Sex Loophole For Mormon Teens

Mormons have some pretty strict rules about sex, but you can't expect horny kids not to find horny loopholes. The latest way to get around Mormonism's divinely-enforced c--kblocking? A practice called "soaking."

We'll let this very informative TikToker explain:
@exmolex

Reply to @user5465489459629 soaking ##exmormon ##exmormonhumor ##exmormontiktok ##provo ##provoutah ##byu ##exmo ##exlds ##soaking ##excult ##cult ##mormons

♬ original sound - Exmo Lex

So yeah, that's a THING.

And if this whole "check her internal temp with my special meat thermometer" schtick wasn't already weird, they'e also recruited friends to help out by jumping on the bed or kicking it from underneath to create some friction that, again, in the eyes of God, is SUPPOSEDLY not sinful because the people soaking didn't generate it.

@funeralpotatoslut

Did you know if someone else jumps on the bed, the movement doesn’t count? ##notallheros ##exmormon ##soaking ##soaktok ##hiatus ##backatit ##mormonshit##exmo

♬ Wildest Dreams - bry


That is creepy as f--k, but not gonna lie it's also some Level 100 Wingman s--t to help your friend out like that. However, it can apparently also be a source of contention:
@jameskryack

The nexus point between Gen Z and Mormons is a wild zone I don’t know what is going on here ##soaking ##lds ##soaktok ##BillboardNXT

♬ original sound - James
@exmolex

y’all are much more invested in this than I bargained for ##soaking ##exmormon ##exmo ##exlds ##exmormoncommunity ##exmormonhumor ##excult ##lds ##mormon ##cult

♬ original sound - Exmo Lex


Ok so that answers a few things. I love that it's also called "marinating."

"Hey Steve, where'd you go at that BYU party last Friday?"
"Hehe, I found a cutie and gave her the ol' Mormon Marinade."
"Heck yeah, good shirt bro. Forkin' get it." (idfk, pretty sure Mormons swear like they do in The Good Place)

It should be noted that in the eyes of the actual church and pretty much everyone else, this practice is still VERY MUCH considered sex. But like I said, horny kids are gonna horn it up one way or another.

Just gonna leave this gem here:

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Uploaded 09/30/2021
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Categories: Wtf Facepalm

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