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New 'Pinocchio' Movie Features Questionable Casting Choices

Lionsgate is getting clowned for the absolutely lackluster performance by... Pauly Shore. Yes, this is somehow real.

The tale of Pinocchio is something of a hot commodity right now, with multiple projects coming up relating to it. Netflix got Guillermo del Toro for their stylistically-animated take on the story, recruiting stars like Ewan McGregor, Cate Blanchett, and Finn Wolfhard as voice talent. Disney is also working on a live-action reboot of their own animated classic, which will star names like Tom Hanks and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

But Lionsgate? Well, let's just say that they decided to go... a more affordable route. Their reimagining of the story has Pinocchio join the circus with his talking horse (Jon 'Napoleon Dynamite' Heder) and fall in love with the evil ringmaster's daughter and becoming human is basically a side-plot. This appears to be a heavily Russian-funded venture that will also release in Russia first, so that might explain some of the jankiness.
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Obviously, there was no way the internet was gonna let this slide quietly:



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