Where's that 'Emotional Damage' clip when you need it?

This clip comes to us courtesy of TikToker/Twitch streamer @eruudessa, whose dearly-beloved mom is apparently an absolute savage. From the sounds of it, it also seems like her mom is NOT - I repeat, NOT, a quitter. She's also unimpressed by her streamer daughter's live feed, so we'll go ahead and say that she sounds like a pretty classy lady. The kind we'd like to meet.

We'd love to call her up, buy her some flowers, take her out for a seafood dinner, and then never call her again. That's because we got our playbook from Ron f--kin' Burgundy himself and it hasn't failed us yet... except for the times that it did. But 60% of the time, it works every time. What am I even saying anymore? I don't care and neither do you, watch the dang video already.