I am not a big country music fan. I like some old hillbilly crap and some blue grass but that’s it. The new country just sounds like southern flavored pop music. But, Randy Travis is the man. Not only does his music take me back to air-condition town car rides filled with cigarette smoke but that motherfucker can cut some bushes. Yep that’s right Randy Travis helps me with my lawn care needs. He rigged up an irrigation system to help grow an incredible marigold field for the orphanage. The looks on the children’s faces are all he accepts as payment. The house that I currently occupy has a small pet cemetery in the back which is constant bother when I decide to put a row of rhodendron or just randomly dig holes. We have sat and dreamed of the day when we will able to rid my back yard of all of the animal carcasses. Sometimes when I stare into Randy's eyes I know there is something more their besides old hit records and a very green thumb. One night I was restless so I was up trying discern a naked breast or an ass on scrambled cable porn. My goal to rub out some knuckle children when I heard a noise in the backyard. I grabbed my trust musket and flashlight and when into the backyard. I discovered Randy my trusted life partner and gardener with shovel in hand. Randy had made quick work of all the belated pets...It was all done. I was amazed. "Randy!" I said "what are doing its passed the witching hour!" "tonight" he said. " I am sitting alone...digging up bones".