Insane Clown Posse Gets Ride To Concert From Mom

ROYAL OAK, MIDespite last-minute fears of a concert cancellation due to transportation problemsas well as the fact that it was a school nightViolent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, the shock-rock rappers known as Insane Clown Posse, managed to make it to their Monday performance at Detroit's Joe Louis Arena after securing a ride from 2 Dope's mom.

"Man, we were so worried we wouldn't be able to get to the concert," J told several social-studies classmates Tuesday. "That would've sucked big-time, because we'd been looking forward to it for, like, weeks and weeks, and all our friends were gonna be there. Luckily, Shaggy's mom totally came through for us, even if she can be a total bitch sometimes."

Despite the successful outcome, the pair nearly missed the concert: At approximately 7 p.m., J's mom backed out of her promise to give them a ride, explaining that she had to drive J's sister Stephanie to the mall. When the popular recording group protested, J's mom allegedly told her son, "Maybe you should've thought about how much you didn't want to miss your concert when you forgot to take out the garbage for the third week in a row, even though you were reminded over and over again."

That sucked ass, big-time," said J at a poolside press conference. "I can't believe she went so crazy just over some stupid garbage. That shit was so wack! She played herself like a straight-up bitch!"

Immediately following the press conference, J was informed that he wouldn't be allowed to use the pool with his friends if he couldn't refrain from using such language in reference to his own mother.

Concerned that 2 Dope's mom would insist on attending the concert with them, humiliating them in front of their friends, J and 2 Dope convinced her to drop them off and pick them up later. This was key, a spokesman for Island Records said, because the lack of parental supervision freed the duo to "go totally wild" at the sold-out arena show.

"I made sure they both took a sweater in case they got chilly up there on stage, and on the way we stopped off at the gas station to pick up some extra Faygo pop, which is their favorite," 2 Dope's mom said. "They wanted me to drop them off a block away, so they could go and make their famous entrance from the padded wagon without anyone seeing me. So I just helped them into their straitjackets, and off they went."

2 Dope's mom added that she had taken extra-special effort to wash and starch the pair's trademark straitjackets ahead of time "to make sure they'd look nice for all the people at the show."

Witnesses reported seeing 2 Dope attempt to exit his mother's car without hugging her goodbye, saying, "C'mon, mom, all the Juggalos are gonna make fun of me!" But after being reminded that he was "not too big to give his mother a hug," he relented, eliciting jeers and boos from the many 14-year-old boys present.

"God, that was embarrassing," 2 Dope said. "And the whole way there, she wouldn't shut up about, 'Be sure to call me before 10:30 to pick you up,' and, 'Tone down the violent lyrics: Remember, that's just the sort of thing that got you dropped from [Walt Disney subsidiary] Hollywood [Records].' It was so annoying, I wanted to pull out a machete and just go buck-wild on the bitch's ass, slicin' and dicin' like a maniac psycho-killa ninja, motherfucka! Yeahh, boyee!"

"It was kind of nice of her to pack us those Fruit Roll-Ups, though," 2 Dope conceded. "Thanks, mom."

Uploaded 05/17/2009
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