Memphis, I figured the scheduled maintenance was behind my being banned. For a second I thought it was because of a recent comment I made in which, as a way to test the Freedom of Speech thingy, I called for the systematic execution of all Eskimos and people with Eskimozoidal features. Eskimozoidal... I just made that word up.

I am not upset because I cannot comment on videos. I am upset because, with the uploads being suspended AND the comments being turned off, I have no means to accumulate eRep points, other than to gain them one...at...a...time by viewing media.

First of all, how will I receive validation if I am unable to read responses to my comments or read comments on my features? This is a big issue as I base my self-identity on feedback I receive from websights like EBW, FaceBook, Yahoo! Messenger, and BigHairyBears.com.

Mostly, though, I am trying to save up one BILLION eRep points because I have a feeling if one earns a billion eRep points, they get to name their own prize. I base this not on anything in the rules or rumors, but on a gut instinct. It just FEELS like a billion eRep points would give me the key to the universe.

I don't know what prize I would choose for myself. I might elect to redeem my points on an excursion to the Amazon Basin to hunt humans. I might use them to have a sex-filled weekend with Tom Cruise's daughter, Suri. What is she now... like 4? Perhaps I will simply cash in the points to have my penis encrusted with precious gems.

"Ugdork's penis... now jewel-encrusted for HER pleasure!!!"

OK, buttholes, I know you are all anxious to make witty quips about my crusted dick but you cannot. You've ALL BEEN BANNED!!! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!

So I guess I have to wait to get eRep points. No uploads, no commenting. Wait... isn't a blog worth 50 eRep points...?