The SHIZNIT 3 & 4
crescentfresh
Published
06/20/2013
Ok, I know, I know. I didn't blog about my poop yesterday. You guys were prolly all sitting at home checking that Newest>Blog and getting all disapoityb and mad as all hell. Well fear not, put your fears at ease, for I, crescentfresh, indeed did poop yesterday. Twice.
Its gonna be tricky to be home every time I poop but since I hardly leave the basement I'm going to do my best to keep bringing you these blogs, and most importantly, weigh myself before and after my poops.
Something occurred to me yesterday morning though, that I'm going to have to pee before I weigh myself and poop. Shouldn't be a problem. Pooping then weighing myself without peeing is probably impossible. I'm not sure but I assume that I'd either explode or the pee might fly back up through my system and come out my nose. Either way, it wouldn't be pretty.
I took my first poop of the day pretty early in the morning. It was like this. Ppppphhh..... Phhhhh.... BLOWOWOWOWPhhhhhPPPHHHHBLUBLUBLUBLU....tphhhhhhheeeeeeeeee! Plupph. Jesus. I'm pretty sure I got more on the sides and back of the toilet than in the water.
I've got one of those shitty toilets (pun intended) that have like a cup and a half of water, and poops like this fully require a flush before wiping, which sucks cause BLOOM all those fecal germs go shooting up my poophole and all over my cawck and balls. Major bummer. Not to worry though, it was time for a shower anyway.
It was pretty brown, light brown, I guess. Really watery, but it sure clung to the back of the toilet well. It wasn't an easy clean up, either. Not off my toilet or my bum. I'm still trying to clean it off when I pee. Its mostly there. Maybe a few more pees, if the stream is strong enough.
This bad boy clocked in at a hefty .8 pounds. Great success!
Next up was poop number 2 for the day. A clean, streamlined poop, with a darker brown tone and a nutty complexion. Dude. This was a great poop. I barely had to wipe. Thats how you know you had a great poo. It was slender and solid, and came out in the middle of a fury of dry farts. It really couldn't have been much better. A tragedy was narrowly averted, however, when after I was completely done, or so I thought, I was about to get off the toilet and squeezed out one last fart. WHOOSH! There went one more piece of doody! Half a wipe later I was clean as a whistle and ready for the rest of my day, which I spent playing Sonic 3D Blast on the Sega Saturn. Fuckin flickies. Fuck you, flickies. A solid effort for a solid poop, weighing in at a respectable .4 pounds.
And now you know. This is the SHIZNIT.
Its gonna be tricky to be home every time I poop but since I hardly leave the basement I'm going to do my best to keep bringing you these blogs, and most importantly, weigh myself before and after my poops.
Something occurred to me yesterday morning though, that I'm going to have to pee before I weigh myself and poop. Shouldn't be a problem. Pooping then weighing myself without peeing is probably impossible. I'm not sure but I assume that I'd either explode or the pee might fly back up through my system and come out my nose. Either way, it wouldn't be pretty.
I took my first poop of the day pretty early in the morning. It was like this. Ppppphhh..... Phhhhh.... BLOWOWOWOWPhhhhhPPPHHHHBLUBLUBLUBLU....tphhhhhhheeeeeeeeee! Plupph. Jesus. I'm pretty sure I got more on the sides and back of the toilet than in the water.
I've got one of those shitty toilets (pun intended) that have like a cup and a half of water, and poops like this fully require a flush before wiping, which sucks cause BLOOM all those fecal germs go shooting up my poophole and all over my cawck and balls. Major bummer. Not to worry though, it was time for a shower anyway.
It was pretty brown, light brown, I guess. Really watery, but it sure clung to the back of the toilet well. It wasn't an easy clean up, either. Not off my toilet or my bum. I'm still trying to clean it off when I pee. Its mostly there. Maybe a few more pees, if the stream is strong enough.
This bad boy clocked in at a hefty .8 pounds. Great success!
Next up was poop number 2 for the day. A clean, streamlined poop, with a darker brown tone and a nutty complexion. Dude. This was a great poop. I barely had to wipe. Thats how you know you had a great poo. It was slender and solid, and came out in the middle of a fury of dry farts. It really couldn't have been much better. A tragedy was narrowly averted, however, when after I was completely done, or so I thought, I was about to get off the toilet and squeezed out one last fart. WHOOSH! There went one more piece of doody! Half a wipe later I was clean as a whistle and ready for the rest of my day, which I spent playing Sonic 3D Blast on the Sega Saturn. Fuckin flickies. Fuck you, flickies. A solid effort for a solid poop, weighing in at a respectable .4 pounds.
And now you know. This is the SHIZNIT.
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