21 Wondrous Thoughts for Wallowing in the Hot Shower Water
solidsnake4545 Published 08/13/2021
in
wtf
You wake up before your alarm goes off, put on a pot of coffee, hop into the shower and get lost in your thoughts. No rush today.
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1. "The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history."
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2. "As an identical triplet, you are simultaneously one of the rarest and most common people on the planet."
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3. "Accidentally liking someone's post while snooping through their profile is the digital equivalent of stepping on a twig while sneaking through the forest."
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4. "Kids will never understand the poignant self-satisfaction of slamming a phone down on the cradle to hang up on someone and end an angry conversation."
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5. "When you walk into a 7-eleven you wouldn’t think it’s an 18 billion-dollar company."
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6. "If 24-hour clocks started at 23:59 and counted down till 00:01, people might try getting more done."
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7. "Biscuits and gravy are weird because it’s like 'Here’s some really wet flour poured over some really dry flour.'"
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8. "The posted speed limit is the legally accepted maximum limit, but the socially accepted minimum limit."
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9. "Most people aren't scared of being alone in the dark — they're scared of not being alone in the dark."
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10. "An everything bagel is proof that you can seemingly have it all and still have a hole inside you."
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11. "If heaven exists it’s probably going back and doing your life over, but fixing all your mistakes."
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12. "Humans are afraid of being bitten by spiders even though they have more teeth. Spiders are afraid of being stepped on by humans even though they have more legs."
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13. "4 a.m. is the hour where you’re either up really late or really early."
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14. "There’s a good chance that your calculator history is more embarrassing than your browser history."
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15. "Finding an eggshell in an Egg McMuffin is both annoying and reassuring."
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16. "If you're still pretty young, chances are you still haven't met the majority of people who will attend your funeral."
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17. "Jello isn’t technically boneless."
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18. "Extra fries in your bag is going to become a thing of the past once fast-food workers are 100% replaced by robots."
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19. "In the Cars universe, a movie about humans would probably be a horror movie. Slender creatures made out of flesh and bone riding the lifeless carcasses of cars for their convenience."
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20. "If Apple had kept its 1976 logo, it wouldn't have to change its logo during pride month."
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21. "A successful marriage ends with watching the other person die."
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"The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history."
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