25 Insanely Useless Things Taught in School

Featured 11/02/2021 in facepalm

Every phone has a calculator. You're never going to read Shakespeare again. The recorder?

School can feel like a huge waste of time. Here are some useless things they remember from school over at r/AskReddit.

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1. They mostly taught us to ask permission in order to use the bathroom. -u/dumbinternetstuff
2. In order to graduate middle school you were required to complete the Cupid shuffle, cotton eyed joe, and electric slide in front of your class. I guess this taught us the concept of pure embarrassment -u/zachdrop
3. The tongue/taste map. Not only useless, but incorrect. -u/Ravensqueak
4. I might just be holding onto an old grudge against my teacher. My English teacher subbed for gym one day and taught us how children in poorer countries made a ball out of trash to kick around and when he showed us his, he kicked the damn thing right in my face.. and then while playing the game, he kicked it into my stomach. So yea... useless trash balls I know how to make now -MiZzPorkeyPine
5. Well, I'm old so take my answer in context. How to use an abacus. u/MispelledPuzlePiece
6. I was taught that Columbus knew that the world was round, but everyone else thought it was flat. So, yeah. . . That. -u/High_5
7. They taught competitive cup stacking in my elementary school. Still have no idea why. -u/smago19
8. Not useless, just poorly taught History. It was just a collection of dates, names, and numbers. Memorize this stuff, we'll have a test. The significance of so many historical events was never taught or discussed. WW2 was the only one that was somewhat approached at scale, but even then it boiled down to Germany was pissed off about WW1 and Hitler hated the Jews. This was at a good high school too, the whole class was in advanced classes (IB / AP). -u/V-_-V
9. That the Native Americans taught the pilgrims how to grow corn. Yet somehow left out the years of slavery and genocide. -u?Cornhole_Jones
10. In my experience, the way gym and PE were taught were pretty useless because they never taught us how to train or improve our athletic abilities. It was just weeks of half heatedly playing basketball with minimal adult supervision, and then one day we had to run a mile and the coaches would go out of their way to humiliate anyone who couldn't just get up and run a mile under 10 minutes with no training or preparation. It put me off running and exercise in general for a long time. -u/evilcaribou
11. Sex and drug education. The entire lesson plan is: "Just don't do it." F***ing bulls**t -u.Ghostspider1989
12. Literally anything about college, no dress codes, no bathroom passes, whatever schedule you want, free time between classes, and overall maturity. School “prepping” you for college, preps you more for going to prison. -u/cmhatcher
13. "You won’t have a calculator in your pocket in the real world!" -u/gaylurking
14. My school notoriously controlled kids socializing, expecting us to constantly stay quiet. My social skills are f***ing trash now. -u/Nicofatpad
15. That your entire self worth is based off of a letter and score. -u/SnooHesitations3687
16. “Cheaters never prosper.” Yeah cheating is bad, but trust me, they prosper. -u/paratrooperkid
17. Three simple words... "Five paragraph essays."
18. English being the only class that is/was required during all four years of high school, we had it constantly drilled into our heads that it was the only way to submit short papers and that we would need to perfect the application if we wanted to succeed in college. First day of Comm 101 in college while the professor was going over the syllabus, and that everything needed to be submitted in MLS format, someone asked what MLS was. The professor stopped, "Let me say this to all of you that graduated high school last year and are just starting your collegiate lives... if ANYONE turns in a paper in five paragraph format you will fail the assignment." -u/InfiniteChanges
19. We were living in south Jersey at the time the Eagles went to the super bowl in 2004. And my elementary school taught us the eagles fight song. Had a whole school assembly by grade level to teach us the Philadelphia Eagles fight song and we weren’t dismissed til we all knew it. -u/ellen_water-melanin
20. I was taught how to use AOL in high school. -u/Dwath
21. That classical literature is the end all be all of reading. I get some books have cultural significance, but that doesn't warrant a 6 week in depth analysis of a book kids can't relate to, with most being about challenges they will never face, culminating in an essay that's basically "I understood it" repeated over and over backed up by quotes. If you want your kids to never touch a book in their lives ever again, THAT is how you do it. -u/RedDawnRose
22. The recorder. Why the f**k learning how to blow 'Hot Cross Buns' was important, I'll never know. -u/MissNewfie13
23. How to take multiple choice exams. Never in my life have I been given 4 options to solve a problem like that. Not once -u/Dmav210
24. Cursive. I have never used it outside of signing my name. -u/onthetrn
25. In the U.S., probably the Pledge of Allegiance. We did that every day from first grade through 12th grade. Let's say it took a minute per day. That's five minutes a week. Every 12 weeks, that's an hour. You're in school roughly 36 weeks a year, so that's 3 hours a year. Multiplied by 12 years and that's about 36 hours of your youth academic career spent talking to a flag. -u/HomelessCosmonaut

1. They mostly taught us to ask permission in order to use the bathroom. -u/dumbinternetstuff
2. In order to graduate middle school you were required to complete the Cupid shuffle, cotton eyed joe, and electric slide in front of your class. I guess this taught us the concept of pure embarrassment -u/zachdrop
3. The tongue/taste map. Not only useless, but incorrect. -u/Ravensqueak
4. I might just be holding onto an old grudge against my teacher. My English teacher subbed for gym one day and taught us how children in poorer countries made a ball out of trash to kick around and when he showed us his, he kicked the damn thing right in my face.. and then while playing the game, he kicked it into my stomach. So yea... useless trash balls I know how to make now -MiZzPorkeyPine
5. Well, I'm old so take my answer in context. How to use an abacus. u/MispelledPuzlePiece
6. I was taught that Columbus knew that the world was round, but everyone else thought it was flat. So, yeah. . . That. -u/High_5
7. They taught competitive cup stacking in my elementary school. Still have no idea why. -u/smago19
8. Not useless, just poorly taught History. It was just a collection of dates, names, and numbers. Memorize this stuff, we'll have a test. The significance of so many historical events was never taught or discussed. WW2 was the only one that was somewhat approached at scale, but even then it boiled down to Germany was pissed off about WW1 and Hitler hated the Jews. This was at a good high school too, the whole class was in advanced classes (IB / AP). -u/V-_-V
9. That the Native Americans taught the pilgrims how to grow corn. Yet somehow left out the years of slavery and genocide. -u?Cornhole_Jones
10. In my experience, the way gym and PE were taught were pretty useless because they never taught us how to train or improve our athletic abilities. It was just weeks of half heatedly playing basketball with minimal adult supervision, and then one day we had to run a mile and the coaches would go out of their way to humiliate anyone who couldn't just get up and run a mile under 10 minutes with no training or preparation. It put me off running and exercise in general for a long time. -u/evilcaribou
11. Sex and drug education. The entire lesson plan is: "Just don't do it." F***ing bulls**t -u.Ghostspider1989
12. Literally anything about college, no dress codes, no bathroom passes, whatever schedule you want, free time between classes, and overall maturity. School “prepping” you for college, preps you more for going to prison. -u/cmhatcher
13. "You won’t have a calculator in your pocket in the real world!" -u/gaylurking
14. My school notoriously controlled kids socializing, expecting us to constantly stay quiet. My social skills are f***ing trash now. -u/Nicofatpad
15. That your entire self worth is based off of a letter and score. -u/SnooHesitations3687
16. “Cheaters never prosper.” Yeah cheating is bad, but trust me, they prosper. -u/paratrooperkid
17. Three simple words... "Five paragraph essays."
18. English being the only class that is/was required during all four years of high school, we had it constantly drilled into our heads that it was the only way to submit short papers and that we would need to perfect the application if we wanted to succeed in college. First day of Comm 101 in college while the professor was going over the syllabus, and that everything needed to be submitted in MLS format, someone asked what MLS was. The professor stopped, "Let me say this to all of you that graduated high school last year and are just starting your collegiate lives... if ANYONE turns in a paper in five paragraph format you will fail the assignment." -u/InfiniteChanges
19. We were living in south Jersey at the time the Eagles went to the super bowl in 2004. And my elementary school taught us the eagles fight song. Had a whole school assembly by grade level to teach us the Philadelphia Eagles fight song and we weren’t dismissed til we all knew it. -u/ellen_water-melanin
20. I was taught how to use AOL in high school. -u/Dwath
21. That classical literature is the end all be all of reading. I get some books have cultural significance, but that doesn't warrant a 6 week in depth analysis of a book kids can't relate to, with most being about challenges they will never face, culminating in an essay that's basically "I understood it" repeated over and over backed up by quotes. If you want your kids to never touch a book in their lives ever again, THAT is how you do it. -u/RedDawnRose
22. The recorder. Why the f**k learning how to blow 'Hot Cross Buns' was important, I'll never know. -u/MissNewfie13
23. How to take multiple choice exams. Never in my life have I been given 4 options to solve a problem like that. Not once -u/Dmav210
24. Cursive. I have never used it outside of signing my name. -u/onthetrn
25. In the U.S., probably the Pledge of Allegiance. We did that every day from first grade through 12th grade. Let's say it took a minute per day. That's five minutes a week. Every 12 weeks, that's an hour. You're in school roughly 36 weeks a year, so that's 3 hours a year. Multiplied by 12 years and that's about 36 hours of your youth academic career spent talking to a flag. -u/HomelessCosmonaut

school hall pass - Nurse'S Pass Bathroom Pass Hall Pass Office Pass

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NEXT GALLERY 25 Times People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To

1. They mostly taught us to ask permission in order to use the bathroom. -u/dumbinternetstuff

2. In order to graduate middle school you were required to complete the Cupid shuffle, cotton eyed joe, and electric slide in front of your class. I guess this taught us the concept of pure embarrassment -u/zachdrop

3. The tongue/taste map. Not only useless, but incorrect. -u/Ravensqueak

5. Well, I'm old so take my answer in context. How to use an abacus. u/MispelledPuzlePiece

6. I was taught that Columbus knew that the world was round, but everyone else thought it was flat. So, yeah. . . That. -u/High_5

7. They taught competitive cup stacking in my elementary school. Still have no idea why. -u/smago19

9. That the Native Americans taught the pilgrims how to grow corn. Yet somehow left out the years of slavery and genocide. -u?Cornhole_Jones

11. Sex and drug education. The entire lesson plan is: "Just don't do it." F***ing bulls**t -u.Ghostspider1989

12. Literally anything about college, no dress codes, no bathroom passes, whatever schedule you want, free time between classes, and overall maturity. School “prepping” you for college, preps you more for going to prison. -u/cmhatcher

13. "You won’t have a calculator in your pocket in the real world!" -u/gaylurking

14. My school notoriously controlled kids socializing, expecting us to constantly stay quiet. My social skills are f***ing trash now. -u/Nicofatpad

15. That your entire self worth is based off of a letter and score. -u/SnooHesitations3687

16. “Cheaters never prosper.” Yeah cheating is bad, but trust me, they prosper. -u/paratrooperkid

17. Three simple words... "Five paragraph essays."

20. I was taught how to use AOL in high school. -u/Dwath

22. The recorder. Why the f**k learning how to blow 'Hot Cross Buns' was important, I'll never know. -u/MissNewfie13

23. How to take multiple choice exams. Never in my life have I been given 4 options to solve a problem like that. Not once -u/Dmav210

24. Cursive. I have never used it outside of signing my name. -u/onthetrn