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20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

Insults are so unoriginal these days, especially on the internet. Next time you're getting into it with a troll online, try one of these on for size.

By Nathan Johnson

Published 3 years ago in Funny

Insults are so unoriginal these days, especially on the internet. Next time you're getting into it with a troll online, try one of these on for size.
  • 1

    “If you were the prize at the end of my race, I would walk backwards.” -Judge Judy

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 2

    Stop playing hard to get when you’re hard to want.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 3

    “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 4

    There’s a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 5

    To think you were the fastest sperm.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 6

    You remind me of someone I would like to forget.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 7

    “Just how closely related *were* your parents?”

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 8

    “Here’s a name for you ladies, but it isn’t used in high society… outside of a kennel.” Gotta love Joan Crawford’s delivery of that line.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 9

    Someone once called me “weapons grade stupid."

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 10

    "You are so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence." — Time Bandits

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 11

    Anyone who ever loved you was wrong.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 12

    “I’d insult you, but I’m afraid you won’t notice it.”

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 13

    You sound like a pizza cutter — all edge and no point.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 14

    “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 15

    A favorite I read somewhere, “I envy those who have yet to meet you.“

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 16

    The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 17

    I had a teacher tell some kid “Nothing you have to say is of any consequence…to anyone.” He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its shit in unison.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 18

    You’re impossible to underestimate.

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 19

    As an outsider, what is your perspective on intelligence?

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

  • 20

    Straight from Shakespeare “I wish we could become better strangers.”

    20 Original Insults to Use on Your Friends and Enemies Alike

Categories:

Funny Comedy People & Lifestyle Win

Tags:

insult funny lol burn lmao trolls jokes
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