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Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

Starting Father's Day early this year.

By nootens

Published 5 years ago in Funny

Apparently sending threatening letters is still a thing. Although with all the other options for communicating with people today, it feels more silly than anything.

Many years after this guy was in high school and slept with his then girlfriend, her dad wrote him a letter to say he was going to use the wrath of God to cast a holy spell on him as revenge.

Apparently the spell should make the guy suddenly age by 49 years while also making the dad 49 years younger. Huh, don't think I'd heard that Bible story before.

After this went viral, the dad unfriended the guy on Facebook, again citing some obscure Bible passages that he knows nothing about.

Dads: sometimes much creepier than moms.
  • 1

    Excellent use of subject line. (see full letter available here)

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 2

    This dad was so bummed he couldn't hand over his daughter's virginity to another man.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 3

    So he threatened to violently murder her ex-boyfriend (although he's too Christian to go through with it, apparently).

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 4

    Instead he'll have to settle for casting a holy curse upon this lad. Right, makes sense...

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 5

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 6

    When other people heard about this craziness they took it and ran.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 7

    This would be the only acceptable response.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 8

    Seriously, how much time does this dad spend thinking about his daughter's virginity?

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 9

    No Facebook friends? Bro...

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 10

    This raises a good question about how Jesus' mom's virginity worked.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 11

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 12

    Getting owned by a local politician is never a good look.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 13

    When the power of Christ compels you to whoop somebody.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 14

    The only good advice here.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 15

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 16

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 17

    She's got a point.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

  • 18

    Whole lotta nope.

    Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

Categories:

Funny Creepy Facepalm Wtf People & Lifestyle Sexy Parenting

Tags:

dad boyfriend daughter girlfriend letter curse magic bible spell funny wtf twitter tweet sex virgin virginity
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