Dad's Threatening Letter to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend Is Twitter Gold

Featured 06/02/2020 in Funny

Apparently sending threatening letters is still a thing. Although with all the other options for communicating with people today, it feels more silly than anything.

Many years after this guy was in high school and slept with his then girlfriend, her dad wrote him a letter to say he was going to use the wrath of God to cast a holy spell on him as revenge.

Apparently the spell should make the guy suddenly age by 49 years while also making the dad 49 years younger. Huh, don't think I'd heard that Bible story before.

After this went viral, the dad unfriended the guy on Facebook, again citing some obscure Bible passages that he knows nothing about.

Dads: sometimes much creepier than moms.

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1. Excellent use of subject line. (see full letter available here)
2. This dad was so bummed he couldn't hand over his daughter's virginity to another man.
3. So he threatened to violently murder her ex-boyfriend (although he's too Christian to go through with it, apparently).
4. Instead he'll have to settle for casting a holy curse upon this lad. Right, makes sense...
5.
6. When other people heard about this craziness they took it and ran.
7. This would be the only acceptable response.
8. Seriously, how much time does this dad spend thinking about his daughter's virginity?
9. No Facebook friends? Bro...
10. This raises a good question about how Jesus' mom's virginity worked.
11.
12. Getting owned by a local politician is never a good look.
13. When the power of Christ compels you to whoop somebody.
14. The only good advice here.
15.
16. She's got a point.
17. Whole lotta nope.

1. Excellent use of subject line. (see full letter available here)
2. This dad was so bummed he couldn't hand over his daughter's virginity to another man.
3. So he threatened to violently murder her ex-boyfriend (although he's too Christian to go through with it, apparently).
4. Instead he'll have to settle for casting a holy curse upon this lad. Right, makes sense...
5.
6. When other people heard about this craziness they took it and ran.
7. This would be the only acceptable response.
8. Seriously, how much time does this dad spend thinking about his daughter's virginity?
9. No Facebook friends? Bro...
10. This raises a good question about how Jesus' mom's virginity worked.
11.
12. Getting owned by a local politician is never a good look.
13. When the power of Christ compels you to whoop somebody.
14. The only good advice here.
15.
16. She's got a point.
17. Whole lotta nope.