Wtf - articles

New Pentagon Press Reporter Was Once a 3.8-Star Cameo Creator

‘Enshittification’ Might Explain Why Everything Sucks Now

There are surely other reasons, too.

Now the ShamWow Guy Is Running for Congress

The ShamWow guy is running for Congress.

People Say ChatGPT Has Randomly Started Calling Them ‘Babe’

Watch your mouth, computer.

Elon Musk Turned Grok Into His Personal Glazing Bot

Hey Grok, who’s the fairest of them all?

Sweetgreen’s 106-Gram Protein Bowl Is a Last-Ditch Effort to Save the Dying Slop-Shop

You’re not imagining things; the protein business is booming.

Microsoft Warns Windows 11’s AI Agent Might Infect Your Computer With Malware

Research Shows Bingeing Short-Form Videos Is Bad for You

This is your brain on 67.

Elon Musk Tried to Warn Us About Trump

Credit where credit’s due, I guess.

Man Wants to Be Reunited With the Shark That Nearly Bit His Head Off

This is what forgiveness looks like.

Jeffrey Epstein Bragged In 2011 That Trump Had Been a Loyal ‘Dog’ Who ‘Hasn’t Barked’

Good boy.

Palantir CEO Alex Karp Says Half the Country ‘Neglects High Testosterone Males’

Are these “high testosterone males” in the room with us, Mr. Karp?

The Federal Government Gave Ghislaine Maxwell a Puppy

In America, if you go to jail for heinous crimes, they give you puppies.

Bryan Johnson Says Eating 4.67 Grams of Magic Mushroom Was Like ‘Inception’

Of course he did!

Bryan Johnson Says His Heroic Dose of Psilocybin ‘Changed Him,’ Calls His Followers ‘Terrible’

You love to see it.

Good Guy Prisoner Mistakenly Released from Jail Turns Himself In

That’s got to count for something, right?

German Nurse Admits to Offing Patients Because He Had ‘Too Much Work’

Wow, this guy sucks!

LED Lights Have Desynchronized Women’s Menstrual Cycles from the Moon

Bros Are Using ‘Chicken Lamp Therapy’ to Fight Their Seasonal Depression

Bok bok!

People Think JD Vance and Erika Kirk Are Sleeping Together

Could you imagine?

Crypto-Bros Have Started Betting Markets for Dares, and It Won’t End Well

They did this on 'Black Mirror.'

Kash Patel Took a Taxpayer-Funded Government Jet to See His Girlfriend Perform at a Wrestling Event

Yeah, you can’t do that.

People Think the 49ers Keep Getting Injured Because They’re Too Close to a Power Station

At this point, 49er fans will entertain anything.

Silicon Valley VC Firms Are Investing in AI-Powered Phone Farms

If you think things suck now, just you wait.

OpenAI Says Half a Million People Experience AI-Induced Psychosis A Week Thanks to ChatGPT