bidet illustration

The Great TP Shortage of 2020 rages on, and it's got a lot of Americans starting to think about alternative solutions. Paper towels? Feels like sandpaper on your bunghole and won't flush well. Using a rag that you wash over and over? Tedious and, quite frankly, f**king disgusting. Adult diapers? We ARE all stuck at home so... maybe. 

man in onesie working on computer

I mean, I guess it'd be pretty fitting with the rest of my pandemic aesthetic.

Or - and hear me out here - bidets. They've been popular in much of the world for quite some time now, but Americans have retained their loyalty towards toilet paper and never really taken to the bidet life. But I mean, really, there's literally never been a better time than right now to consider the switch!

Bidets actually have a pretty interesting history and started off as a little sink/basin that you'd straddle ("bidet" is French for "little horse/pony"), using your hands to scoop water to the relevant areas. Thankfully, today's bidets are generally integrated directly into the toilet seat to save space and feature water jets for thorough, hands-free cleaning. 

Fancy, electronic units with bells and whistles like heated seats and air drying cost several hundreds of dollars, but there are also far more basic versions that'll set you back all of $30 or so. That's the kind that I got, which you can find right here. ***Note: if you from that link, we get a little money from it, but no pressure. I'm not here to sell anything, I just genuinely love bidets.

arielle bidet meme - when your bidet finally arrives from amazon

Installation is also pretty easy for most toilets. You'll need a decent wrench and some towels because it will require you to partially disassemble your toilet's main water line (which the bidet will need to connect to), but it can be installed in about half an hour or so. 

Once you've got it all set up? Sit down and take it for a spin! I'd definitely recommend starting with low pressure (if you have settings for that on your unit) just so you can get used to it. It's definitely a bit of a shock at first, but once you get the hang of it and learn to angle yourself, there's no looking back. Read into that last sentence however you'd like, by the way - that's why I wrote it.