Yeah, I'm just gonna head out. Catch you guys on the flip side.

This is such a dad tweet, but honestly I feel smarter just knowing this ridiculous fact.

That single comma is working harder than my either of my parents did on their marriage.

Look I KNOW you wanna die too, but you're supposed to say something else. "You'll be fine."

Honestly surprised ginger ale hasn't cured cancer, yet.

Everyone knows you have to fuel up at starbucks first then hit the big three.

Juuuuust a bit outside. Close but no cigar.

The person who created the pump mask is GOATED. You just had to be there.

Sweet, the thing I've fallen off of multiple times in my life.

Don't worry mom, I'll be home early tonight.

I'd listen to Drake try to sing heavy metal.

I wish I had this much creativity and writing skill.

2 stars: GOOD GOD PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THIS PIECE OF TRASH.

I've quite literally lived in America my entire life and have never once seen a person do this.

Friends are fake, Pop Tarts are forever.

Straight from Grandma.

A national treasure!!!

LMFAO. How did he figure out that by doing this specific move he could transform into Cardi?

What kind of person have I become??

Alfred Hitchcock is so overrated. This is obviously a joke for this tweet, don't come at me in the comments all butthurt.

Worst case scenario.

Ahhh. Now it makes perfect sense.