Daily media - jokes

Guy Things

Guy Things

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Expensive

Expensive

A man walks up to a woman and asks, “Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?” She quickly replies, “Yes.” So then he asks, “Would you sleep...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Rigged Contest

Rigged Contest

Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Double Dose

Double Dose

A man went to the doctor to get a double dose of Viagra, but his request was denied. "Why can't I have a double dose?" the man asked. "It's...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Twenty Responses To Use With Telemarketers

Twenty Responses To Use With Telemarketers

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Golf Lessons

Golf Lessons

A man was taking golf lessons one day. He swung the driver and hit it 150 yards. "What did I do wrong?" he asked. "Hold the club gently",...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Liver and Cheese

Liver and Cheese

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a hot chick from across a bar. She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Most Popular

Most Popular

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Cheerios

Cheerios

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Catholic School

Catholic School

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School, usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Like Mother Like Daughter

Like Mother Like Daughter

There were 3 girls in high school, they were all best friends and they're moms were all best friends as well, one mom was blonde, one mom was...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

50 Years

50 Years

See what 50 years will do: Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Father and Son Talk

Father and Son Talk

A father and son walk out onto their porch overlooking the stream and the father puts his arm around his son, stares at the scenery, and...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Things a Naked Man Does Not Want to Hear

Things a Naked Man Does Not Want to Hear

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Sniffer

Sniffer

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Lost with Grandpa

Lost with Grandpa

A small boy was lost at the Mall of America. The six-year-old approached a uniformed policeman and tearfully told him, "I've lost my grandpa."...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

MIT Letter

MIT Letter

Here is a great letter from MIT to a prospective student and that student's response. Mr. John T. Mongan 123 Main Street Smalltown,...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Will I live to be 80

Will I live to be 80

I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

One Eyed Blonde

One Eyed Blonde

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Seniors

Seniors

A group of senior citizens was sitting around talking about their ailments: “My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee,” said...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Mmmmm

Mmmmm

How is a soy burger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat!

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Operating Fun

Operating Fun

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Ten Times the Normal Size

Ten Times the Normal Size

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Southern Hospitality

Southern Hospitality

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Red Skelton's Perfect Marriage

Red Skelton's Perfect Marriage

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on...

By ebaum

Featured 18 years ago

Most Popular

Repo Man Remains Calm As Woman Yells At Him

Repo Man Remains Calm As Woman Yells At Him

28 Memes All About Superheroes And Star Wars

28 Memes All About Superheroes And Star Wars

Road Rage Ends With Dude Firing Through His Own Windshield

Road Rage Ends With Dude Firing Through His Own Windshield