Funny articles

Jeffrey Epstein Bragged In 2011 That Trump Had Been a Loyal ‘Dog’ Who ‘Hasn’t Barked’

Good boy.

A Barefoot Activist Group Got Infiltrated By Feet Guys

They love that you walk around barefoot. They just love it for very different reasons.

Palantir CEO Alex Karp Says Half the Country ‘Neglects High Testosterone Males’

Are these “high testosterone males” in the room with us, Mr. Karp?

The Federal Government Gave Ghislaine Maxwell a Puppy

In America, if you go to jail for heinous crimes, they give you puppies.

Bank of America Gets Sued for Not Paying Workers to Turn On Their Computers

If you need to turn on your computer to work, the lawsuit argues that you should get paid for that time.

Bryan Johnson Says Eating 4.67 Grams of Magic Mushroom Was Like ‘Inception’

Of course he did!

Target Says Its Workers Are Now Required to Smile at Customers

They’re literally telling their employees to “Smile more, baby!”

French President Released From Prison After Serving Just 1% of His Sentence

Justice was (very briefly) served.

Study Finds That Partiers Make More Money, Find More Success

The best predictor of success is not your degree, but how many times you woke up in a bush.

Trump Says He’s Going to Create His Own Air Traffic Control System

Let that thought calm you on your next flight.

D.C. Plastic Surgeons Say Insiders Are Requesting ‘Mar-a-Lago Face’ to Get Close to Trump

Get yourself a tan, a little lip filler, and a cannon blast of makeup — congratulations, you’re ready to meet the President!

Researchers Say They’re Investigating a ‘Credible’ Bigfoot Sighting In Pennsylvania

Jane Goodall would be proud.

Justin Bieber Arrives at Kris Jenner’s 70th Birthday Party with White Powder on His Pants

That’s not talcum powder.

Roblox Purged Millions of Accounts With ‘69’ in Their Handles

And users are not happy about it.

Target Released, Then Recalled, a Winter-Themed ‘Snow Bunny’ Hoodie

Oh, bless your soul, Target.

Marc Andreessen Deletes Post Mocking the Pope’s Call for Ethical Innovation

No one mocks the Pope.

Bryan Johnson Says His Heroic Dose of Psilocybin ‘Changed Him,’ Calls His Followers ‘Terrible’

You love to see it.

California Says Kim Kardashian Can’t Be a Lawyer

At least, not yet.

Pittsburgh Naturists Introduce Nude ‘Balls Out Bowling’

Not the first sport I’d expect to be played in the buff, but go off.

Funko Announces They Might Be Going Away for Good

We may finally be free from the scourge of Funko Pops!

Facebook Admits That 10% of Its Revenue Comes from Fraud and Scams, but They’re Not Going to Do Anything About It

Oh. Well, okay then.

Trump Reportedly Keeps Falling Asleep in the Oval Office, During Meetings

Can we get one President with a functioning brain and nervous system, please?

Oh, Cool, We’re Getting $2,000 Checks Again

Wouldn’t mind this happening every few years, tbh.

Bryan Johnson Plans to Melt His Face off With Three Five-Gram Doses of Magic Mushrooms